Necromance
by CarminaNoctis
Summary: From prodigy to perfect soldier, Jade Curtiss is above all forces on earth. Right? Pre-game Jade POV. Trying to adhere to the Auldrant properties and timeline...Dramatic romance. Jade/Peony, with some obligatory Dist thrown in.
1. Overture

Well, here's my first finished fic. I've tried to work within the game's timeline as much as possible, and I was simply inspired by how much JadeXPeony is already there. So here is one take on how the lovely pair came to be...enjoy!

Ch. 1 - Overture

I believe I first started to love him after he took his fist to me. My emperor. Nearly as delicate as his name would suggest, and he hit me in the name of morality and redemption. Two areas in which I did not measure up to his standards, to say the least. I'll never know why he cared to redeem me. Why he counted me as his friend, even then. It wasn't as though I'd been particularly friendly to him.

My first impression of a ten-year-old Peony Upala Malkuth the Ninth: a sniveling out-of-town noble who would never make it year-round in my arctic hometown of Keterburg. He'd been forced North in his exile from the imperial city, and though it was doubtlessly an under-wraps escape, his taking up residence there was immense news, even for a tourist destination.

I remember watching, from our perch in the play-yard, over the heads of many onlookers, his gilded carriage arrive from the port. Saphir and I stared, unmoved, as the little shivering, red-faced prince was lifted from his coach onto foreign, icy ground. He was already looking curiously around him as his chaperones hurried him indoors. The whispers trickled back toward us, about the poor traumatized boy whose life been threatened, along with his father's, by the war between kingdoms. Keterburg, they said, would be his new home, and we must all do our utmost to ensure his happiness and comfort here…

"Please," said Saphir. "We needn't do anything. People only stay here for the Summer! He'll be miserable no matter what we do."

I had to laugh as cruelly as a nine-year-old can, at that. "Well, doesn't mean we can't help him with _that_ at least."

Saphir grinned in his evil way—the way I was secretly always trying to mimic. "Jade! Be nice."

The little heir was seemingly never allowed outside of his house. We'd sometimes wander by the huge mansion, feigning disinterest, but we never caught sight of him. Word was that his father, paranoid and bent on upholding his only remaining son's birth score—which stated that he would be the future emperor of Malkuth—kept him safely imprisoned.

To our mortification, however, Saphir and I found ourselves sharing the classroom with him one day.

"Now what?" Said Saphir, straightening his silver-white hair contemptuously.

"Now Professor Nebilim devotes all her attention to his _majesty,_" I groaned.

My mistake: he'd heard me. I saw the straw-haired boy craning around in his desk a second too late and making contact with my death glare. Immediately he smiled. It was a bright smile that seemed beyond politeness.

"Hello."

I stared for a second, then retracted my glare, slightly.

"I didn't know you went to school here."

"I don't…" said the boy. "Neither Father, nor any of the servants know I'm here. Please, don't tell them, okay?"

Taken aback, I just sneered at him, and then pretended to be distracted elsewhere.

Professor Nebilim gave our guest a warm greeting. At the end of class, I saw him approach her nervously and ask something. She seemed to nod, speaking to him in a hushed voice. Most likely inviting him to sneak into lessons, I thought with distaste. After that first day, however, I was pleased to notice that he received no special treatment. My place as her top student remained mine alone. To bolster my rank, however, I began exerting perhaps even a noticeable effort. I began to inch closer toward the front of the room, picking desks closer and closer to her until Saphir objected. We came to a compromise and ended up half-way to the front, at about the same distance as Peony's desk. He of course put forth no obvious effort into succeeding—he was just, naturally, likeable. He had a decent mind, too, I could soon tell. He required little help from other professors in the areas of arithmetic, literature, world study and fonon theory. And in Nebilim's fonic artes class, though he possessed no real power, he was adept at the basics. But at least I had the skill and power. No one forgot this. I spent most classes teaching my colleagues the spells I had mastered years earlier. My true education came from my private lessons with Nebilim.

When I found myself bragging, one day, to Peony, about my progress with the sixth fonon under her tutelage earlier that day, he gave me his bored congratulations. Of course I was incensed. I hardly noticed Saphir giving me the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. But then he had always been strange. I was used to his possessive attention, and probably even enjoyed it.

One evening, we were studying at my house after a particularly intriguing lecture, only to be interrupted by a rapping on the outside of my window. I couldn't be sure what surprised us more—that the frost-soaked, glowing Peony had managed a successful escape and had found his way to my house, or that he had picked our company to escape to. He'd brought with him as a token and source of entertainment three little dolls from his collection. Apparently he enjoyed dolls. Needless to say, we enjoyed scoffing at this for some time. But our guest caught us off-guard when he armed one of them with a little sword and then started swishing and poking at both of us.

This gave Saphir an idea.

"Let me see that one," he said, picking up the monster doll.

"Help yourself," Peony grinned.

I watched intently as he began to mutter under his breath an arte that sounded unfamiliar to me. What finally resulted were little strands of light connecting different limbs of the doll to each one of his fingers by several inches' distance. As he moved his hand gingerly, the figure would twitch and move along the ground or the air, completely and remotely under his control. Peony smiled, impressed.

I fumed, "Why didn't you tell me about that one?"

"Oh, I don't know," he spat, "maybe you were too busy with your lessons with Nebilim!"

I was caught off-guard, and could only glare. Peony, however, interjected.

"You're both very talented, anyone can see that. Just… don't worry about it."

We stared at him, and somehow came to a mutual agreement that our bad mood was his fault.

"Yeah, what are _you _good for?" Poked Saphir.

"Well, I'll rule this country one day, and all of you," he said, confidence beaming from him.

"What good is an emperor who can't defend himself?" I asked.

"That is what I'll have my loyal guards for," Peony smiled at us. "You both should come work for me, later!"

"We'll have more important things to do!" Saphir shot in. "Won't we, Jade."

I maintained a haughty look, neither confirming nor denying.

I can't say we ever would have admitted to counting him as our friend. As the months went by, however, I know we grew more and more accustomed to his company, whether we were between classes at the academy, or he'd snuck out from his protective, luxurious prison. We even began helping him to escape. I couldn't be sure whether this was for his benefit, or for the excitement of breaking rules set by his father. Either way, we began to grudgingly enjoy our time together.

My younger sister was an entirely different story. From the first day Nephry came into my room, uninvited, to find the three of us in the midst of a board game, she was smitten with the young emperor. That evening, she'd insisted on intruding upon our party and joining in the game. Being a gentleman, Peony had vouched for her, and I was obliged to admit her. She shrugged off mine and Saphir's complaints. Naturally, she hit it off with Peony, and from then on he never failed to invite her to join in all of our activities. In a matter of days, they were best friends. She'd go so far as to sneak into _his_ house. They were soon spending much of their time together, apart from us. Luckily for Saphir and I, this meant we had more time free from the both of them.

It was finally time to exercise my fraternal responsibilities when, two weeks after they'd met, they proclaimed themselves betrothed. I wasn't even trying to dash my sister's hopes—I was merely being realistic.

I'd taken her into my room, attempted to place sympathy onto my face, and told her in as gentle a tone as I could manage, "You know, you can't really marry him, he's the emperor. And you're a commoner."

She began to cry. "You're so cruel, Jade!"

"I'm trying to point out the obvious, Nephry. Apparently you can't see it."

"He's the emperor—he can marry me if he wants!"

"No, even emperors can't make _that _okay. He's going to find a noble girl, and marry her. It's only proper that way."

"I _hate_ you!" Said my sister, stomping out of my room and closing the door dramatically. I vowed, right then, never to fall in love. Obviously love induced ridiculous behavior .

After that, I left the relationship alone. It was probably a mistake. But how was I supposed to interfere with the tenaciously happy couple? The situation was more convenient for me, as well. They kept themselves occupied, Saphir and I had an endless source of inspiration for ridicule, and I had more time to myself to devote to training.

One day, however, Peony was courteous enough to ask me for my sister's hand.

"I know I've made it obvious a while, Jade, but I want to address this formally."

He'd interrupted me while I was reading. I peered down my nose at him, my feet still propped up on the tea table.

"Hmm?"

"I'm in love with Nephry. She is my first and only love, and I'd like to marry her."

"I know that." I pretended to get back to reading.

"I'd like to have your blessing!" He insisted.

"Well…" I hesitated. "Sure. Whatever."

"So, 'yes'?" His crystalline blue eyes beamed at me.

"Yes!" I said, annoyed.

"Oh thank you, Jade! It means the world to me!" He ran over to me then, threw his arms around me, and, before I could react, planted a firm kiss on my cheek.

"Ugh!" I yelled, wiping it off furiously. "Get off!" He was already halfway across the room, though, skipping out the door, and, doubtlessly, off to see my sister. But it was probably the first time he'd touched me, to speak of, and I sat there, mortified. It was certainly the first time I'd been kissed since I'd started shrugging away from my mother several years prior.

I remedied my shame by walking straight over to the academy to see if Professor Nebilim was busy. I hadn't bothered to bring a scarf or hat with my coat, and though it was a warm day for Keterburg, the wind had still bitten my cheeks red by the time I peered through the door to her office.

"Hello, Jade," she smiled, surprised. "Oh you're all pink! Did something happen?"

"Just the cold, Professor," I said.

"Ah. I'm guessing you're here for a lesson," she said knowingly.

"If you're not busy."

We found our usual vacant classroom, and went over the artes I'd been working on that week. As always, she praised my progress, and showed me some modifications to the spells, making them stronger and more challenging for the following week. As usual, however, I wasn't satisfied.

"Please, show me the seventh fonon."

"Oh, Jade Balfour, not today."

"Please, Professor. I'll never understand it if you don't even demonstrate the proper uses."

"We've been through this. It's not that you don't understand it," she said. "Believe me, Jade, I know that if it were in your power, you would already have achieved it. You aren't lacking in skill—you simply don't have the capacity to use it. And I've told you, seventh fonists are quite rare."

I was silent for a second, crushed, as I regularly was after these discussions.

"Then please, just let me see it?"

She sensed the sincerity of my plea, and relented.

"Alright, just watch, though."

She pulled out her small, silver dagger from her coat pocket. I wondered sometimes why she always kept it there. But I held onto a hope that it was for my academic benefit. To teach me the healing artes of the seventh fonon.

With the dagger she drew a narrow but deep cut along her arm.

"Mine too," I said, holding out my arm.

"Don't be ridiculous," she scolded.

Soon her deep red blood was shimmering upon the white skin below her rolled-up coat. I was entranced with it alone, until she began her spell.

For a moment I forgot my ambition and jealousy, and was simply awed by the soft green glow that obeyed her words, beaming from her other hand and enveloping the wound. I imagined I could almost see the tiny fonon particles coursing from her, through the air and down to bind and smooth her skin. I imagined what it would feel like to control these particles in a spell meant to heal—to mend—to give life, instead of only to destroy. I didn't see why I couldn't have this power. What made it so different from the others?

I stared at her arm until all traces of green light had vanished.

"That's all," she cut in.

I was still entranced with what I'd seen. "But what's the difference? I want to learn. I want to know everything. I should be able to use the seventh fonon."

"Jade," her tone was soft. "Having great power can bring sorrow to people. You're trying too hard to get more than necessary. Doing so may lead to your destruction one day. Please—leave it alone."

"….Yes, Professor."

Needless to say, I didn't leave it alone. As I often did, I stayed after her in the empty classroom. At times like these, mostly I would practice the artes I had already mastered. But my curiosity and longing could not resist that which was withheld from me by the world. My attempts at the seventh fonon always yielded new and unexpected results, but never the ones I was looking for. Often I could use these experiments to further my studies in other areas, but never did they resemble anything like healing.

Nothing came of my recklessness for some time. Instead, I developed a new skill. I couldn't tell you exactly why Nephry came running to me when her favorite doll—the one Peony had given her—broke. It was beyond perfect repair, and I was under the impression that she still hated me, so I'll never know what she expected me to do about it. But in the instant that she brought the thing to me, crying because it was special, because it was from him, the thought just floated to the forefront of my mind. Why not re-create it?

I took it from her, concentrated, and the mere vague idea I had in mind was realized in a fonic arte. As I held the broken doll, another one was created right before our eyes. It was identical to the first, and intact. When I offered it to my sister, however, she did not accept it happily but backed away, eyes wide. I didn't understand what made her so afraid.

No one knew of my success with the new science for some time except for Saphir. And before long, under my tutelage, he too was a master of fonon mimicry. Based on Nephry's reaction, we decided to keep these activities between the two of us.

It wasn't until my pride overcame, me and I described to my Professor just what I'd accomplished, that anyone attempted to talk sense and basic morals into me. She began to make me understand the fear in Nephry's eyes. Either it was my love for Nebilim or her success in distracting me with lessons that made me halt my experiments in fomicry.

Needless to say, Saphir was perturbed by my change of heart.

"You need to think for yourself, sometimes," he told me one day.

"What makes you say that?"

"It's that Nebilim. You just let her rule your life."

"She does not rule my life. She's brilliant, and I think she's right. If you're talking about replicas again…I agree with her. We shouldn't do that."

"Shouldn't, or won't? You're just too devoted. I hate—her. I hate her!"

Normally I would let Saphir's outbursts pass without much thought. This one seemed out-of-the-blue, however. Even for him.

"…What is it?"

He pouted. "She's always in the way."

"You don't hate her," I said. "She's taught you all you know, too."

After a bitter silence, he relented. "I don't…hate her. But, I wish…"

"What?"

"I wish you'd spend more time with me." He looked pointedly in the other direction.

"You're crazy," I said. "I'm always with you. And I'll always be."

This made him smile and his violet eyes shine a little brighter.

Keterburg and its inhabitants existed without ado for some time after that. Nephry joined us at the academy the following year, and Peony continued to escape his house in favor of our company. I continued to refine my artes under Professor Nebilim, and she kept wearing down my ambitions and my power lust. By the time I was thirteen, I had ceased killing the area's indigenous creatures in the name of training and science. But I did not stop trying to master the last fonon.

Nephry and her self-proclaimed fiancée did not give up their dream of being together forever. It wasn't until Peony's father, the emperor, supposedly made a visit to Keterburg, that they were forced to see things practically.

"My father just came to see me," said Peony, as I listened from beyond the door Nephry had left ajar. I did not see it as too unfair—she'd not made sure it had latched.

"Oh?" Said my eleven-year-old sister.

"He—I told him about us." I could tell, even through the muffled sound, that he was despondent. "He says it can't be."

"What?" She said in disbelief.

"He told me that… either I abandon all thoughts of marrying you, or—or I never get to see you again. Move away from Keterburg."

"No… but, you're going to be the emperor! You can do whatever you want."

"Maybe someday," he said. "Right now…maybe it would be better to be friends, and still be together, then to have to be apart. I don't want to lose you."

She said nothing, but I sensed her agreement. About then, I realized I was better off not eavesdropping. I said nothing about it to them later, and neither one mentioned anything to us. Nothing in particular changed between them, either. They were best friends, as they always had been. The only difference being that they spent less time with each other alone, and more as a group with us. I had mixed feelings about this, and I know Saphir would have preferred it as just the two of us.

This was probably why he became even more insistent on following me everywhere.

"I'm going to practice. Alone." This time I was truly trying to gain some privacy.

"You're always alone. Let me just watch! Or—or I'll spar you." He ran after me, growing out of breath.

"I'd hurt you," I warned.

"Don't be so sure!"

Our arguing lasted until we both stood in a classroom in the academy. We were alone, or at least I assumed. I knew that Nebilim often worked late, but I had not seen her.

"What are you doing?" Asked Saphir.

"What I always do when she doesn't know I'm here," I said.

"You'll do it." He smiled at me. I ignored him and began to concentrate.

I searched around my mind and body for a new power—anything that might lead to the one element I had not made contact with. But I was only met with the familiar.

Frustrated and enraged, I dug into myself deeper, only to pull out something that I had not bargained for.

I opened my eyes just in time to see a fiery explosion burst from my fingertips. It swept through the room, until everything was ablaze. Saphir had barely managed to dive under a desk. The spell did not stop within the room. I heard it smashing through the walls, seeking a wider range. By the time I had leveled my head enough to recall my magic, it was far beyond my control. My own spell was now beginning to trap us inside its inferno.

I grabbed Saphir and we crawled through the door just in time. He were running through the main hallway when he shouted my name and pointed back into the building. The dim silhouette of my professor, surrounded by flames, was laboring toward us.

We were able to reach her and carry her outside before she collapsed from suffocation, only to watch the academy go up in flames of its own student's making. I could only stand there and watch as it burned, everything only beginning to sink in.

"Hey, Jade! At this rate Professor Nebilim will die!" Saphir recalled my attention to the ground, where our teacher lay, her blood darkening the snow all around her. I could tell he was right.

"I'll make sure to save her," I told him, regaining my calm.

"How?"

"Fomicry. I'll create a replica of the professor."

He only stared at me for some time.

"Hurry." I finally jarred us out of our shock, and we carried the professor's dead weight further into the safety of the cold, dark snow.

Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate reviews very much-like it, hate it, or any other critique, and if there is interest I'll post the rest of these!


	2. Shadows

Chapter 2 – Shadows

All that the public knew was that a tragic "accident" had occurred.

Only Saphir knew what exactly had happened. What I had made.

The Nebilim replica had attacked a soldier as soon as he came over to investigate. I couldn't distract her soon enough: she killed him. Next she had turned to Saphir and I, groaning and twisting her body in pain. She was incomplete—unstable, and searching for the fonons she lacked.

Saphir ran behind me, screaming. I shielded us, and then let loose the most powerful killing arte that I could manage. She leaped and dodged it, and then ran off into the night faster than I could catch her or cast another spell. I wouldn't see her again for more than twenty years.

I was quietly expelled from the academy, and just as quickly, my family found itself hosts to two recruiters from the Malkuth military. The general at the time had already heard word of my 'talent.' He proposed that I be admitted into a military academy, trained, and set on a trajectory for a commanding position in the army.

My parents were still too shocked to give their options much thought beyond practicality. What else was to be done with me? Stay at home, and I would only endanger my sister and the rest of the town. Put my strengths to use, and perhaps I'd learn to better manage them.

All was settled in a matter of days after the incident, and all at once I was to leave for the capital city.

While Saphir, who'd escaped any suspicions, was upset to see me leave, he was optimistic about my future and the promises it held for our research.

"Write me, Jade," he told me, as he sat in my room, watching me pack.

"Yes," I said, concentrating more on whether I should bother bringing my favorite heavy jackets to the much warmer capital.

"Tell me what sorts of technology you use. Who knows, maybe one day we can create perfect replicas."

"Perhaps."

"I mean really," he said, getting up and walking over to me.

"Hm?"

"Write me. I don't want to lose you," he told me, all of a sudden grabbing one of my hands in his.

"Saphir—"

When I had finished remembering that I'd heard this phrase before from Peony to Nephry, I looked up to find Saphir's intense violet eyes gazing into mine from a much closer proximity.

"Jade… I don't ever want to lose you." All of a sudden I felt nails on the back of my skull, keeping my head firmly in his grasp, and pulling me forward, until he was clumsily kissing me on the lips. Again, I was too shocked to react for some time. He took this opportunity to wrap the other arm around my waist to further limit any possibility of escape. What froze me, even after I had registered what was happening, was my own body and basest instincts betraying me. My arms nearly twitched to hold him in return. My lips—they wanted to match his passion; they may even have softened, and pushed to do so.

My mind, jammed in conflict, prevented any of these instincts from completely taking over. Somewhere, rationally, I remembered that this boy was nothing more than a leech to me.

_No, he is my friend. I care about him. _

And he cares for me. Too much. I mustn't use that against him.

_But I want him._

He's distasteful in so many ways. And he's a man.

_Actually, we're only fourteen. _

Exactly. Wrong.

I tore away, sick to my stomach.

"Jade!" When I could bring myself to look at him again, I saw tears already streaming down his face.

"That's quite enough," I said. "Get out of my room."

He whined for a few more moments at me, and then obliged. When I was sure he was gone, I sat down and centered myself again until a knock interrupted the process. I muttered a "who is it."

"Hey!" Peony's annoyingly peaceful face peered in at me.

"Yes?" I hid my face as subtlety as I could. He picked up on it immediately.

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm upset to be leaving," I lied.

"Ah, yeah," he nodded. "But you're going to Grand Chokmah, right? Maybe I'll see you there someday!"

"Perhaps," I shrugged.

"I'm sorry you have to go, though," he said.

"Thank you."

"Is it…because of professor Nebilim?" He asked more carefully.

"Who told you about that?"

"No one. It's just that I knew you were practicing advanced magic with her. I assumed there was an accident, and you're taking the responsibility. I'm sorry, Jade."

"It's alright." I hadn't expected him to hit as close to the mark as he did.

And with a few encouraging words, he left. I saw him leave the house with Nephry. She glanced back at my window once, and then kept walking.

It was ten years before I saw him again.

Ten years, and I was a Major in the Malkuth military. I had been adopted under the name of Curtiss, one of Malkuth's premier generals, now retired. I was no longer the mishap from Keterburg.

No, instead I had made an even better name for myself. My continued research in fomicry held the interest of comrades and enemies alike. My methods—as separate as they were from the state—aroused much suspicion.

As "Jade the Necromancer," I would regularly scavenge the battlefields that were left littered with the corpses of my foes, scythe in hand. My army of undead replicas was nearly complete…

Fables aside, I had been admitted to an internship at a fomicry research lab in Hod. There, when given free time and reign I would use—yes, cadavers—to gather data and continue to refine fomicry. The results were invariably flawed in one way or another. But there was progress. I could never simply give up. I didn't, until the lab was shut down due to the impending peak of war with Kimasca. I no longer had access to the research facility. And now I no longer had the option of regaining it. Hod had since been obliterated Five years ago. Since then, I'd made a name for myself not only in science, but as a soldier on the front lines of the battles following Hod's destruction. In a few short years, my superiors agreed that a "precocious" lieutenant, such as I'd been, was better off nurtured and moved along the chain of command, soon given control of hundreds of soldiers and the title of major.

I lived in comfort, then, having been relocated to the Curtiss Manor, which lay on the outskirts of Grand Chokmah. I was called to the military complex only on official business. Thus, news did not reach me immediately. I was usually briefed during whatever next time I reported. I blame these circumstances for the shock I received, one day, during one such visit.

I made my way along the promenade, toward the palace, almost enjoying the sun on my face. Walking out in the open was becoming more difficult, these days, as I became better-known throughout the city. Or perhaps _infamous_ was the better term.

I was greeted normally at the base, but instead of being shown into the briefing room, was redirected to the palace.

"Major Curtiss," said the soldier, with a nod, "His Majesty has asked to see you, as soon as you're able."

"The emperor…?" I cut short my surprise, and climbed the flight of stairs to the royal audience hall. Once inside, I heard my name announced resoundingly, for the benefit of the figure on the throne. I drew closer, glanced up, and realized that the man sitting there, grinning at me, was not the emperor I was expecting.

"Jade? They told me there was a 'Jade Curtiss' serving as major, and I thought that somehow, it must be you!"

I looked up blankly at him.

"Do you remember me?" The young man—an older, taller and handsome Peony—was doubtlessly the boy I'd known in Keterburg. In the decade I hadn't seen him, however, his scrawny figure had filled out nicely into a fit, strong form. He had already regained a healthy tan, signature of the Chokmah resident. And the gold hair he had kept short now swept to his shoulders. But his eyes had not changed. They were still as blue crystals. They were beaming down at me from atop staircase and throne.

"Your Majesty—yes. I remember you."

"I can see this is difficult for you," he laughed. "I understand. Why don't we meet later? Come by and let's catch up!"

"If Your Majesty wishes it—"

"Yes, yes, formalities. And don't stand me up, this time, Jade!"

After I was dismissed, I turned and walked away as quickly as I could manage while still maintaining etiquette. It wasn't until then—with those eyes doubtlessly piercing into the back of my head—that I began to recall the several times I had "forgotten" to keep my appointments with him when we were children. Of all the things to throw at me now. Plus, I'd never had to hold an audience with the emperor before.

I met with my superiors in the military headquarters for about an hour after that. After I'd been released, I found myself with time to kill, as I was supposed to wait for someone to find and escort me back to meet with Peony. I had nowhere else to go but the local bars, and as it was too early to make a social appearance, I remained in the courtyard overlooked by the palace. I found a secluded enough spot, overlooking the ocean from the white carved-stone terrace.

The ocean held my attention for a while. The bright sun was catching it particularly well that day. The thousands of refractions and pings of light were nearly painful, but more beautiful to watch. For a while, I was foolish and lost track of my surroundings.

"Jade the Necromancer!" Called a voice. Before I had registered whose it was, I'd turned around to again find myself caught by surprise as Peony himself approached me. Still smiling, he was flanked by three animals—rappigs, to be exact. He held lines loosely attached to a harness on each one. They wandered in front of his path, noses busily analyzing the walkway.

Peony himself gleamed in the outdoor light. "I didn't feel like staying in that palace any longer. Hope you don't mind my coming to meet you out here."

"No, Your Majesty." I bowed my head uncertainly.

"And you had to meet my friends—this is Nephry, Saphir, and Gelda." He motioned to each of the snuffling animals.

"I see…" I said.

"They're quite fond of Grand Chokmah. I can't say I'm completely convinced. But it'll have to do."

"Your majesty, so does this mean you've ascended the throne?"

"Oh, no. My father hasn't retired just yet. You could say he's finally decided to let me have some experience. Test me for a few weeks."

"So you are not, truly, emperor yet."

"I was born emperor. Come on now, Major. Show a little respect." He was winking at me. My smile was nothing more than a cringe.

"Forgive my indiscretion, Your Ma—"

"Jade, please," he said more softly, approaching me and joining me in facing the ocean. "We went to the same school. Save the titles for the audience hall."

"If you insist," I said.

"That's right."

"So," I ventured, "You've been living in Keterburg until recently?"

He nodded. "I've been back here for short trips. But my father considers it much safer there. Hasn't really let me come here unless it's been necessary. Until it was starting to look ridiculous that a twenty-something heir wasn't getting any on-site job training."

"I see."

"What about you? All I've really heard about you, beyond your success, are the…horror stories."

"Oh?"

"Of the most complimentary kind, of course. They say you're a genius. Scarily brilliant, in fact."

"Do they? Well I'm sure that's simply part of the mysticism involved with serving in the military for too long."

Peony laughed. "I suppose. But tell me—what do you actually _do_?"

I felt my mouth go slightly dryer. I didn't need the emperor aware of my scientific ventures.

"—I mean for fun! What's there to do around here, anyway?"

"Alas, Your Majesty, I don't have any fun."

"Nonsense. I mean, _we_ used to have plenty of fun. I mean do you remember how we used to sneak into the casino? Go diving off of the icebergs? Get into the spa after-hours—"

"Those were most definitely your ideas. We were only trying to keep you from being killed or arrested."

"Ha. But do you miss it back home?"

"…Depends."

"Have you even spoken to Nephry lately?"

"I've done her the courtesy of avoiding communication."

"Saphir—you know he was recruited into the oracle knights some time ago?"

"I didn't know…" I said. "And you? Do you and Nephry still intend to elope at the first possible chance?"

He laughed a little too hard at that. I thought I saw old hurt in his eyes.

"You really haven't been in touch, have you."

"Really. It's better this way."

I didn't see him for another week. It wasn't that I avoided the palace. I found myself quite occupied enough with my military duties. I wasn't about to put everything on hold in the name of catching up with old acquaintances.

But again, I was called in to the palace, this time for official business. As it turned out, I'd been summoned to one of the regular conferences that were usually reserved for the Emperor, The chief of staff—Sesemann, commander-in-chief, General Nordheim, and the council members. As a mere Major, I couldn't see why I could possibly have been needed.

"Curtiss!" Nordheim greeted me. I gritted my teeth and nodded.

"We're in need of your experience with fontech and fomicry. It relates to the army…"

The politicians looked on as we militia discussed possible plans for the army. The council agreed, and Peony hesitantly signed a bill, instating my other area of expertise into the world of combat. I can't deny I wasn't a bit thrilled. After all was said and done, the acting emperor seemed at ease, too.

He waited to walk along side me as we left the conference hall.

"Don't make me regret this, Major."

"What, am I responsible for the army's success now?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," he said. "Whatever you're doing now seems to be working."

"Your Majesty is too kind."

He swept a strand of hair out of his eyes. "How long have you been so career-minded?"

I laughed.

"I think you should come back with me. I'll be leaving next week for Keterburg. Come back home, just for a little while."

My steps faltered.

"They'd really like to see you."

"And if I refuse?"

"And if it's an order?"

"Then we shall see."

"Major," he said. "You're to accompany me back to Keterburg for one week."

I couldn't argue. "Yes, your majesty."


	3. Sins

Chapter 3 – Sins

I was given a ride to my homeland on the emperor's private vessel. All was luxurious, save for our having to share the space with his rappigs. They all escaped, once, and ran amok around the ship. He found it amusing. The crew bore with it admirably, and I bit my tongue. We arrived in Keterburg the following day, and all breaking points of cabin fever were avoided.

My family was shocked to find me—flanked by two infantrymen, per protocol—standing outside their door. My mother beckoned me in hesitantly, as if I were a stranger. Soon Nephry, now a young woman taller than our mother, came down, curious. She started for a few moments.

"Brother?"

"I'm here for a visit. Hope you don't mind."

But she continued down the stairs, and over to me, embracing me cautiously.

"We've heard about your progress," said my mother. "General Curtiss was kind enough to send reports."

"That is good of him," I said, grimacing. "Aren't you proud?"

"—Pardon the intrusion," said a voice from behind me. Peony had let himself in. I turned back to find that my parents were already kneeling.

"Please, Mr. and Mrs. Balfour, no need for that. I am still only…"acting" emperor, after all. Plus, I'm only here to borrow your son, if he'll allow me more of his time? Nephry, come along too if you like. I've made reservations at the casino for all of us."

"Should I be as excited as I think I should?" I mumbled as we followed him out the door.

"I've taken the liberty to arrange a little reunion for us. Though, no saying if all of our number will show up."

"Wait—is Saphir coming?" Nephry asked, sounding happy about this.

"We shall see. I hear that our Oracle Knight has quite the hectic schedule these days. But either way, let's go enjoy my favorite place!"

We ended up not quite in the heart of the Keterburg casino, but in an adjoining café. We were shown to a private room without hesitation, and I suspected Peony was readily recognized around here.

After ordering drinks, we were left to wait for our other guest. In the name of the social norms that had been drummed into me over the prior several years, I tried to make conversation.

"Tell me, Your Majesty,"

"Jade…"

I sighed. "Peony, you said your father had arranged these last few weeks as a test for you?"

"That's right," said Nephry. "And he was nervous."

"No lying!" The emperor elbowed my sister as she laughed. "Well, I expect he'll be getting the damage report right about now. And…this is top secret, naturally. But soon I'll be getting either a series of lectures, or a coronation.

Nephry gasped. "He's ready to give you the throne?"

"Retirement has sounded good to him, really, since the end of the Hod war. I think it took a lot out of him. That, or all the peace we've been having is boring him silly."

"I can't say I'd blame him," I said. "Too much more of it, and I'll be out of a job as well."

"Oh, is that what you think?" Asked Peony.

The hostess, who had made her way discreetly over to us, now cleared her throat and addressed us. "Excuse me, Your Highness. Locrian Cantus Dist is here."

"Oh good!" Smiled Peony.

"Who, now?" I asked, and my eyes followed where the hostess motioned. Walking toward us was a tall, slim, and eccentric figure. Unfamiliar to me at first, and yet…I knew those violet eyes and sheet of silver hair. Saphir. Older, sleeker, and wearing a perfected scowl. While he was probably still the shorter between the two of us, he had shot up. He wore a long, trim coat gracefully, completed with a high fur collar and pristine gloves. Just as I, (and ever since we had augmented our own powers of sight through less-than-practical methods,) he now wore thin spectacles, over which he stared down his nose at us all. Peony got up to greet him.

"I'm so glad you could make it."

But Saphir wasn't listening. He looked straight at me with hatred in his eyes.

"What's _he_ doing here?"

"My apologies—I should have warned you," I said, standing up and extending a hand. "Hello Saphir, it's been a while."

He sneered at the hand for a moment, but eventually took it gingerly with scarcely more than his fingertips.

"Jade," he nodded. "What is it now—captain?"

"Major."

"And I've taken a new name. It's occupational. I'm now known as Dist. Dist _the Rose_."

"I see," I said.

Peony was laughing. "He's incorrigible about that. Come on, sit down."

Lunch could have been worse. The small talk took up most of our time, and meanwhile Saphir—or Dist, rather—began to lighten up. He certainly had grown fully into his element of drama. It gave him a charisma that nearly eclipsed everything in its presence, but I began to wonder weather the newfound confidence had come about due to crisis or growth…

There were no blow-ups, tensions or extended periods of silence, and I believe we were all relaxed enough by the time we got up to leave.

"Shall we do this again?" I found myself asking.

"At my place next time," said Peony.

"I'm sure I'll be too busy," drawled Dist. "But…I'll see what I can do."

"I'd love to," said Nephry. "After all, you've never had me over at your manor when we weren't sneaking around!" The two began planning enthusiastically, and walked on ahead of us. I politely kept pace with our companion.

"I thought I heard you were still involved with fomicry research," Dist said, seriousness cutting the drawl in his tone short.

"I had been. But of course since the lab on Hod was destroyed…"

"Jade." He stopped walking, and waved the others away when they looked back at us. We now stood in the snow, in a secluded spot by the park.

"You still want to bring her back, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"My, and I actually put it past you to play stupid!"

"What are you harping about, Saphir?"

"It's Dist! Dist the Rose."

He glared up at me, flushed with annoyance and the cold. For a moment all was quiet but the snowflakes falling past us, landing in our hair.

"Gelda Nebilim. You were still trying to replicate her."

I ignored him and looked into the distance, wishing he didn't know he was right.

"Let me help you," he said then.

"Why would you do that?"

"Does it matter? You have the knowledge. I could provide the resources—better ones—more secretive. I even have a perfect place in mind. You continue with your duties as the good soldier, and I discreetly take care of everything you need. I know you're building a reputation you'd like to protect, Jade."

Much too tempted, I pushed him further. "Hold on—what exactly is in it for you?"

"Part of the credit, of course, when we create the perfect replica! You understand I am already a master scientist of fontech—but I wouldn't mind another achievement on my record."

"Fine." I said. "Help me, and I'll see that the commendation goes to you as well."

He looked surprised. "You won't regret it. It will be just like old times."

"Not completely," I said under my breath as I walked ahead of him.

Another week, and business seemed to continue as usual in Grand Chokmah. I continued to be called to the palace fairly regularly, mostly for the conferences, but sometimes because Peony simply wanted to catch up. I found it irritating, but I tended to bear with him. I believe he often put in good words for me to my superiors.

Those next several weeks were difficult for everyone at the center of the empire. The throne was in flux. The emperor was trying to make up his own mind over whether or not to surrender it to his son. All indications were that Peony would make a decent enough ruler, with the guidance of the council, and Sesemann's advice. But the old man was wary. What if we were threatened by war again? (This was when Peony introduced us formally, and I was made to reassure his majesty that I would protect the heir.)

By the time a coronation dawned, we were all frazzled enough for the relief to have come too late. I was at wit's end by the time a letter arrived for me from Dist. I had put off reading it until the end of the day. Finally, after necessary libations, I opened it, to read:

Jade—

The preparations are complete. Come as soon as you're available to

see our new center of innovation. Soon, we will have created something perfect. I'll await you.

– Dist

Below his flourished signature were coordinates at which I would find this secret lab. I would like to say that I put off any further action. But the momentum was already driving me anxious. I packed many of my logs, and a few small instruments, and then took the next coach near enough to the coordinates. Surprisingly, or perhaps somewhat brilliantly, he had found a site in Kimlascan territory. I would not be bothered by my colleagues here. I climbed down into a cavern, of all places, that was obviously much more easily accessible by sea. Once inside, the path evened out and was quite manageable, though the walk lasted several minutes. My spear was readied the entire time; occasionally I would slice down an aggressive bat, and occasionally I was convinced that Dist had set an extravagant trap for me.

I finally reached a large, secure doorway. A moderate fonic arte unlocked the bolts, and I stepped cautiously into a huge room built into the chamber. It was dimly lit, but filled with the hum of fontech. I did not see Dist before he spoke to me from out of the dark.

"Just imagine what we can accomplish here. Away from your duties—your superiors. And mine." And he laughed a high, drawn-out cackle. A switch was flipped, and the lights came up. He stood at the opposite end of the vast room, next to a control panel. His spectacles gleamed at me such that his eyes were completely hidden. I was sure mine had the same effect, then.

"Well it's a bit remote." I tapped my foot on the polished floor.

Dist shrieked, "Well that was the point!"

I walked around the lab in silence for some time as Dist followed me around, biting his lip and trying to hide his nervous shaking. It was obvious that the necessities were all in place. Refining the equipment to serve my theories would be relatively simple. I told him as much. He hid his smile badly with a smirk.

We spent the next few weeks—in between both of our various missions as soldiers—doing just this. We would meet briefly, exchange notes, and go our separate ways. I did not see him outside of that cavern until one day, briefly in passing, at Peony's public coronation. We did not acknowledge each other.

The new emperor kept me near himself for most of the day. To my insistence that I would only get in the way, he replied that even unnecessary distractions from political circus were good distractions.

"So that's all I am now?" I asked him as he was being dressed by several maids.

He turned back to look in my direction. "I'd like to make you more than that."

I looked away as he was stripped down entirely. "Please elaborate…"

"Call me selfish—I want you close, not only to me, but to all internal affairs."

"What?"

"And by the way, this is all still highly confidential. So if you would, ladies, not a word to anyone…"

"Yes, Your Majesty," they chorused, a few of them blushing.

"Oh thank you. But Jade—today I formally receive my new…career. I feel it's a good day to offer you yours, too."

"Your Majesty?" I looked back at him, growing irritated. Now, at least, the bottom half of his ceremonial robes were in place. I noticed that his tan was surprisingly even across his chest.

"I want you, someday, to be my advisor—my chief of staff."

My voice was caught uselessly in my throat for a moment. "I—Your Majesty, the qualifications for that title—"

"It's not as though I don't value you as an officer," he continued. "I'd love to see you as general one day. But I want you to take Sesemann as a mentor. It's not as though he's young. And I will always need someone on whom I can truly depend."

"But—"

"We're not discussing it at this point. Yes…yes, I think I'll inform Sesemann tomorrow that he'll have an apprentice.

Still shocked, I remained right where I was standing and maintained an unaltered expression. Peony had nothing more to say to me, and continued to wink and talk at his bevy of servants. I was, however, kept in close proximity for the entirety of the day, in the name of a distraction, as well as for security purposes.

It wasn't until a few weeks after the coronation that circumstances were calm enough for me to take a more extended leave. While Peony happily assumed I was visiting Keterburg, I instead took my own boat straight to Dist's cavern to finish refining the fontech. I spent the first few days alone, until he was free from Oracle duties.

I still had enough stored replica data from Hod to last us several experiments. There would be no going to hunt for eligible test subjects, and so we were free to begin diving into the research for the next several days.

We barely slept or ate. Some nights, I'm sure we were only being counter-productive. Our delirious conversations would inevitably lead back to his reasons for helping me. More specifically, my questioning them.

"Why does it matter, you stubborn idiot?" He finally burst out one time.

"Should it not?" I said. "I can't expect you not to ask for anything."

"If we can bring her back—if we can see Nebilim again and you can be happy, then so will I be."

"Happiness is irrelevant!" I yelled, though he was only a few feet from me as we worked at the same control panel. "I must do this, regardless of any personal reasoning."

"Well then, Jade, why?" He looked up at me, one hand still on the controls. "What _are_ your reasons? Is it not only to bring back _beloved_ Professor Nebilim?" There was a distinct bitter tone in these words.

I struggled, not wanting to answer. "I must refine this science. It is my contribution to the world, and I must follow through. Perfect it."

"Liar." He said, lowering his sculpted eyebrows at me. "Besides, don't forget who is making this all possible for you. _Our_ science."

I made the mistake of looking at him, then, head-on. "Yes, Saphir, that was the agreement."

He was looking back at me still. And still just a foot away. This time I began to see him melt under my gaze, before anything even happened.

"Jade," he whined.

I had already braced myself by the time he took a step closer to me until we were nose to nose. But as aware as I was, I did not stop him as he slid his arms around me and his lips against mine. I didn't try to avoid his tongue as it slipped past my guard. I stood there, thinking as quickly as I could. Nothing had changed. I could hear his shallow, anxious breaths start to deepen, and feel his heart fluttering against my chest. And what did I feel, besides the cold of the night?

I realized, then, that I had nothing to lose. Again I wanted him. And this time, I was much more free to take him. Slowly my arms returned the gesture, at least partially, and I clutched his shoulders through my gloves. I kissed him back, and if nothing else, sensing the rise that this subtle change induced in him—it was thrilling.

When lips were not enough and we finally broke apart, his eyes were dilated and all he could say was my name, again.

With a blank mind, as if pulled close to him magnetically, I moved up against him, and pushed us both against one of the heavy instrument consoles. Between the metallic surface and me, he would shove up against me one moment, and let me slam him back against it the next. This perverse cycle seemed to give him great pleasure. Soon he was bent over the machine, his back against my stomach. I scarcely had to think about it—my hips moved against him instinctively. And it was like power—my control over the bliss he was in. Over how long I kept him in suspense, desperate. Finally I gave into my own desire, pulled his uniform loose, and took him, against the wall of the machine. I was only as brutal as I had to be, but it drew cries out of him. Gradually these subsided into blissful moans, echoing through the chamber each time I drove into him again.

He began to call out ridiculous things. That he loved me—that he had since we were children. I didn't understand, but in a way, it fuelled my own lust. I began to struggle to keep my own voice under control. I bit my lip, but found that the only remedy was to slam him against the machine harder. I did not—could not stop, until we were both near fainted on the floor, spent and in too much pain even to touch each other any more.

TBC...


	4. Wakefullness

Ch. 4 - Wakefullness

We worked for three more days at the cavern lab. Half of the seventy-two hours were spent working, none sleeping. When we were exhausted, we would return to our experiments. When we could bear it no longer, or after each replica had given us the information we'd needed one of us would kill it, and then we would continue where we had left off with each other.

When my leave ended and I had to return to Grand Chokmah, Dist whined at me again, making me promise to return quickly. He held me back to kiss me as I was walking out the laboratory door. I pulled away after a few seconds and told him that I didn't know when I could come back.

I made it to the manor in time for a long shower and a change of uniform. But hygiene could not erase the dark circles under my eyes, or my especially gaunt face. By the time the council meeting was called, my eyelids struggled to stay apart from each other. Nothing seemed amiss in the meeting, however. All proceeded as normal, and neither Peony nor my superiors, Nordheim and Sesemann, gave me so much as a suspicious glance.

This was all until we concluded and made our way out to the entrance hall. Without warning Peony took me by the arm and pulled me to the back of the hall, toward his chamber.

"Your majesty?"

"Silence. We need to talk, in my room."

If I could have recognized the feeling of nervous anticipation then, I'm sure I could say that it began to surface at that moment.

"Oh, relax. It's just been a while," said the emperor, once we were each seated on a haphazardly placed chair in his chamber. "I'd like to catch up."

"Ah," I said, probably relieved.

"Also, you look like hell."

We sat there, staring each other down for a moment.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"How is Keterburg these days?"

My expression didn't change. "Just fine."

"And Nephry? Did you send her my regards?"

"She returns them."

He began to laugh, coldly. "I exchanged letters with her. She never saw you there."

"You assumed I went to Keterburg. I never confirmed it."

"Alright. Thanks for passively lying to me. But what was so involving that you haven't slept since I last saw you?"

"Must your majesty know every part of his militia's life?"

"You know you're more than that. If you're going to be my advisor, I have to be able to trust you."

"And what makes you think I ever wished to be your advisor?"

I may have actually hurt him. He was stunned silent for a moment, mouth frozen in a down-turned pout.

"Well, either way…" he finally said, "you're my friend."

"You want to know what I was doing?" I asked.

"Please."

"Fomicry."

Peony sat up a little straighter. "Oh?"

"You know I was involved in it, in the past."

"You created it, right?"

"Well, yes. And I've been involved, on and off, since then. I took this opportunity to make a large amount of progress in my research."

"Ah." He did not look entirely satisfied.

"How can I put Your Majesty's mind at ease?"

"Well…I just wonder what it's for, Jade; your research. It's probably all beyond my understanding. But I suppose I should take this as a learning opportunity. What are you trying to do?"

"I am supporting the bill that you signed. The army would benefit immeasurably from the development of specified fontech and fomicry."

"Ah, of course. But if it's for the benefit of the empire…why so secretive? You could have all the resources you need here."

"I see," I said, my fatigue catching up with me again. "Some things… are better off in a secluded environment. Under one's own control."

"You're not still replicating the dead, are you?" He said, out of the blue. My vision fading, I could not respond.

"Are you?"

"It is far less taxing. The risk posed to a living original does not outweigh the higher success of replication."

"I've heard that you kill most of your subjects anyway. Could just be a nasty rumor, though."

"Surprised you still want me as your advisor—all of these nasty rumors flying around."

"No, it doesn't matter," he said. "But really, why this obsession with the dead?"

"Are you done yet?" My voice was raised slightly.

"Is it…?" His blue eyes were trained hard on me—piercing. "No…"

"May I leave now?"

"Is this about Professor Nebilim?"

"Wh—?" I was in the act of getting up out of the chair.

"That's it, isn't it."

I stood up the rest of the way, resenting the way his eyes still looked right through me. "I'm going to go sleep, now."

"You'd better! Before I really start interrogating you!"

I walked out of his chamber in silence and without a glance. I continued straight home, barely making it through the door and to my rooms, before collapsing on my bed.

It was several days before I was able to return to our lab. Dist was already there, and quite indignant. But he had nevertheless continued experimenting where we had left off. He seemed to think that there was a problem with the machinery.

"Jade! Where have you been? I've needed you. But I know what our limitations are now."

He showed me where the data had been topping off for a while. It certainly did appear indicative of a limitation in the powers of the tech, rather than in our theories.

"You've failed me," I told him, with a straight face. He began to sniffle, then cry.

"Must you always take me seriously?"

"Oh…" he said, "…oh."

"It's been quite sufficient. We need only to refine it further."

"Yes, I could have told you that!" Dist said, recovering quickly. "It needs to recreate—no, amplify—what is possible with the arte of fomicry."

"Using artes poses problems, too."

"But only you have created the perfect replica, with your own powers."

"That, Saphir, that was a doll. An inorganic object."

"Still! We need only to stabilize and balance the types of fonons. It will only require more power."

"I suppose so," I said. "More concentration."

"Let us try not relying only on the fontech, but on its assistance," he continued.

"We'll hook it up to me, then?" I concluded.

"Until there is a more precise way," he said.

By the time we were done speaking, Dist had realized that he hadn't seen me in more than a week. I saw his eyes shift from rational to lustful in an instant. And he all but threw himself upon me.

"Jade, I've missed you!" He said, between kissing me. "Peony keeps you so busy."

"Don't touch me," I said. But he only had to press himself fully against me to once again awaken my basest instincts. I began to kiss him in return, even gathering his silver hair in my glove.

Soon, another large portion of time was wasted. At the very least, we returned to our work with renewed resolution, and worked efficiently all day. Come nightfall, we decided it might actually benefit our work to attempt sleep. We left for Daath.

This was the first time Dist had ever taken me to his house. His current abode was inside the cathedral of Order of Lorelei. Despite the presence of many monks and other superiors, he seemed not to care when people noticed a stranger accompanying him through the building and into his residence. He lived in a modest but highly decorated set of rooms, the innermost of which he invited me into immediately. I sat uncomfortably on the bed for some time until I realized that he was being truthful about leaving the bed to me. He took the couch in the living room, using his own powers to transform it into a suitable bed.

We didn't stay very long. I slept maybe five hours and then awoke to find him in the living room, already awake and prepared to leave again. When we returned to the lab, we continued work just as we had left it, and all before sunrise.

It was a few months of collaboration and trips to stay in Daath before we spent an entire night there.

This night, so cold outside that one inhale would dry our throats, he remained in the room while I prepared to sleep. I stopped and questioned him with a glance, and he began to look nervous.

"Jade, I… I'd like to stay with you."

"Well, it's your house," I told him.

He had changed into a robe, and now turned out the light and followed me into bed cautiously. I didn't move when he wrapped his arms around me, clear as his intentions were. I waited for the impulse to take me.

But perhaps this was too alien. We had never been intimate in a bed before. The feeling of him close to me in a way different from any before was too disconcerting, almost claustrophobic. I pushed him roughly away. We remained apart for the rest of the night.

The next day was the first that we tried to focus my own artes through Dist's fontech. The results were much more stable than those we had witnessed before, but there was still a ways to go. The several attempts left me exhausted, and my fon slots taxed. A much higher concentration of fonons had passed through them that day than any day on average, making my skin ache everywhere. Dist and I agreed that the progress was worth it, however. That night I returned to Grand Chokmah to rest.

I did my best to avoid Peony and anyone else who might wish to interrogate me. This worked well until he came to the manor, one day, unannounced. Only a few of the servants were home then, and so I answered the knock myself to find him and his three charming pets waiting in the doorway and surveying my abode.

"Is it not risky, Your Majesty, walking around the city, unprotected?"

"I don't mind," he said. "And no, I don't think anything will happen. The empire doesn't have any reason to hate me, yet."

"I suppose. But I'm going to assume your council does not know about this… Anyway. Ah, come in?"

"Thanks," he said. "Just a quick visit."

Before I knew it, the emperor and his rappigs were making themselves at home in the sitting room. He had unleashed them, and I watched tensely as they made their way around the area, no doubt looking for something to chew on or soil.

"Nice place," he said.

"It will do," I replied.

He waited for me to take a seat across from him. "So, I heard you've been gone for a while?"

I decided not to avoid his point this time. "A few days, yes."

"Conducting research?"

"Yes."

"That's nice," he said, surprisingly relaxed. "How are you?"

"What? I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just glad you're doing better than the last time you came back from a scientific retreat."

"Ha," I had to laugh. "Your Majesty needn't worry. I am the one that is to look after _your_ well-being, after all."

"Okay nanny," he said. "But really… I suppose the reason I came…" He thought for a moment. "Jade, I want to apologize for the last time we spoke."

"There's no need, Your Majesty."

"I reacted out of concern for you. But, I guess I've been thinking about it in the meantime, and I realized that I can't blame you."

"You're free to blame me."

"I lost my family when Kimlasca infiltrated this city all those years ago. All but my father. And if it were possible to bring them back, I'd probably do anything in my power to do so. I really can't blame you. But, I know one thing—you can't truly bring people back once they've died."

I decided not to test him by refusing his comparison. "Thank you."

"Just, please…don't hurt yourself. Or any other innocent beings, for that matter."

We were silent, until he got up and stretched. "Well, I'll be off now. Should be having a summit in about half an hour."

"Good luck, Your Majesty."

"Thank you. Nephry, Saphir, Gelda!" He called to the animals. They came trotting over, but not before I had started, internally. He then bid me farewell and left, followed by two sets of hooves clicking on the wood floor and then away upon the pavement. I thanked my good fortune that he had not gotten angry again, and that his pets had left the house unscathed.

He did not seem to mind letting me take days away from the capital, now and then. He made a point of being aware when I had returned from a period of running tests, but much of the time, I seemed to have his approval. The problem arose when I judged poorly, working late and exhausting myself physically. One night I returned home, only to awake in the morning sore all over, and visibly stiff and limping. Peony turned on me immediately after the conference was over, and in the audience hall, no less.

"You idiot—you overdid it again, didn't you." He shook his head. "Now I'm really considering banning fomicry in the name of the military. And maybe in general."

"Your Majesty—"

"What good has come of it for you, Jade? I'm only afraid it isn't worth it. I'm not even quite sure what you're searching for, and it seems you'll sacrifice yourself for it. Please, consider ceasing your research."

"I will consider it, Your Majesty." He was not satisfied, but I walked away anyway, out of the vast hall, the reverberation of my shoes betraying each retreating step.

I couldn't tell you the steps or thought leading up to the experiment that was seconds away from killing me. More precisely, the several different experiments. Neither Saphir nor I were aware of the delayed effects of the few that had ended badly in the last few days.

The first was a hardware problem. Fonons began to flow backwards, from the test subject through the machine, poisoning me with the undetected disease that the subject still carried. I did not sense it until much later. Next, I lost control and powered some of my fonons with the fifth element, causing an explosion to char the subject, much of the machinery, and myself. Saphir healed me as best he could with remedies and bandages, and then we continued. We both knew that we were on the verge of a breakthrough.

Finally, the breakthrough came. Our final replication was complete, and quite stable. But the body's seventh fonons—present in the original—soon began to separate and disappear back into the fon belt, attracted by the huge mass of its kind in the atmosphere. The replica began to attract replacement seventh fonons for the ones it had lost. Still attached to the machine, my body had none to give. The attractive force did not stop however, but continued to grow stronger. Fonons began to rip through me, tearing through the fon slots. My energy—useless to the replica—was pulled out by the power of the new body, only to vanish. This phenomenon, present only on a small scale before, escalated until my skin was soon burning, and the pain rendered me immobile. I was trapped for as long as it took Saphir to run to me and pull off all the connections. I collapsed into blackness.

I was later told that he had carried me all the way to Keterburg, by boat and on foot. He had collapsed upon arriving at the hospital, and they treated him, briefly. Nephry was notified of my admittance, and when I awoke, she was with me.

"They thought you wouldn't make it." As far as I could see through my dim vision, her eyes were still red from old tears. I looked at her, but couldn't respond. It burned my throat even to breath.

"I'm glad you're awake," she continued, looking away. "Peony told me what you were doing. How he was concerned—how you were hurting yourself. And Saphir brought you here. He left yesterday. But I suppose he was involved, too?"

I found myself nodding, perhaps sedated into compliance.

"Fomicry from the dead… I—" She couldn't go on. "And I've told him you're here—Peony—and he's going to come."

This barely registered. Soon after, I was asleep again.

The next time I opened my eyes—a few days later—Nephry was gone. Instead, sitting next to me where she had been, leaning over me in a thick wool coat, was indeed Peony. My vision was clearer now, and I saw him staring off into space, his mouth a thin line. As soon as he noticed that my eyes were open, however, his expression turned into one of loathing.

"You're alive." He thought for a moment. "Nephry called me, as soon as she'd been to see you. They all were sure you would die. Interestingly enough, she was distraught."

I may have blinked, but I didn't try to respond. Peony then stood up, still towering over me. He looked increasingly upset.

"Is this obsession of yours worth stealing from—from all of us our friend, our family?

"Hm?" I managed to sit up, slightly. I noticed then that my entire chest and much of my arms were covered in bandages.

I looked up just in time to see the emperor pulling back his fist, and then swinging it straight at my face. The blow knocked me down again, and it reverberated around in my skull for a while as my lip stung.

"Just stop it already! People who have died won't come back to life, no matter what you do. And how do you think Nephry, Saphir and I would feel if you died?"

I looked at him as he spoke, tried to sit back up, and for the first time attempted to process his words. I still couldn't reply, however. But this silence of mine seemed enough for him at that moment. He sat back down.

"You're better than this. You are more to me—to all of us—than someone who will throw his life away over a memory."

My head began to ache again, and my vision blurred. I lay back down, but I didn't take my eyes off Peony's face. It seemed to be the source of light in the room, and I held onto it in my sight as the rest of the world dimmed.

He may have taken my hand by the time I was unconscious again. The last thing I saw were his eyes meeting mine, and perhaps they were filling with tears.

The next time I was fully awake, I was in the Grand Chokmah medical facility, and in far less pain. The beginning of my pain was when I opened my eyes. There were no blue eyes above me.

I was determined to get up and dressed that day. The nurses were reluctant, but ended up helping me to become presentable. So long as all my movements were slow, I was able to stand and walk again. Before they could stop me, I had walked out of the door to the hospital.

I did not know what day it was, or how much I had missed in the capital. I intended to make it to the palace to find out. The placid sunlight of the floating city was nearly too much for my eyes. Now so accustomed to darkness, I was nearly blinded as I passed by the shimmering waterfalls and over the stretches of bright pavement. The warmth seemed to lull me to sleep at the same time that it hit me with its force. But I made it to the palace, and into the audience hall, only to find that the emperor was not there. I tried his chamber next, and found him in the back room, doting on his pets. He stood up when he saw me.

"What are you doing up?"

"Um…" I tried to think.

"God…" he muttered, and then ran toward me, pulling me over to his couch and trying to lie me down.

"I'm alright," I said, breathing heavily.

"What the hell was so important that you had to drag yourself over here? I mean… I was just about to come visit you."

"I didn't drag myself. I had to talk to you."

He sat down next to me, then, and helped me to continue to sit up.

"I'm sorry," I said.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression, then lowered his head to rest it on my shoulder."

"It doesn't even matter, I just don't want to lose you."

"But it does," I said. "You were right. …It was about her."

"Gelda?"

"I wanted to ask her for forgiveness."

"You wouldn't need to. I know she wouldn't blame you."

"But I killed her."

He couldn't reply to that.

"I just… wanted to talk to her."

"Tell me," he said, "do replicas have the memories of their originals?"

"…No."

"It wouldn't be her, then."

"…No it wouldn't."

Quietly, he placed a hand on my opposite shoulder.

"Peony. I want to hold a meeting. Right now."

"You're in no condition—"

"Please."

"Alright…I'll summon them, then."

"Thank you for coming, impromptu," I told the council. "This will be quick." They all watched me, nonplussed.

"I'd like to propose a worldwide ban on fomicry."

"On…? Everywhere?" Questioned Sesemann. "You've been its spokesman up until now."

"The replication of living beings is an inhumane and pointless process. No self-respecting government should be associated with it."

With the support of the emperor, we had soon passed a nationwide ban, and formed a plan to propose the same idea to Kimlasca. The council, while still slightly bewildered at my change of heart, seemed happy to be setting the moral standard for our former enemy kingdom. They left in good spirits.

I followed Peony out, feeling a new vibrancy that only came through accomplishing work. This did not last long, however. I sped up to keep pace with him, my eyes vacantly on his mane of gold hair and deceivingly slight shoulders. Then my heart began to beat such that I heard its pounding in my head. I stopped and leaned against the nearest wall, breathless.

The emperor sensed I was not right behind him, and stopped. "Jade?"

I stood still, but the feeling did not let up. By the time he'd turned and looked at me, my pulse was only racing faster, and my breath more burdened.

"What is it? Here, let me get you to a doctor. You should never have exerted yourself this much so soon."

I was still puzzling over the strange attack when he came and took my arm. Despite his support, the symptoms still didn't subside. I walked with him easily enough, but my head was still too light for comfort.

I puzzled over the origins of this attack. My injuries would have no reason to cause it, all of a sudden. I wasn't hungry. I'd slept plenty, that day…

"You idiot…" Peony mused.

"Hm?" I was pulled out of my mind.

"Politics when you're an invalid. Only you would, my Jade…"

_My Jade?_ How ridiculous, I thought. _My Jade._ Just like something he'd call one of his pets. Soon the silly diminution was running through my head, in his voice. Each time I heard it again, my head seemed to grow lighter, peeved by the thought. But I was transfixed.

I wanted to hear him say it again.

Very quickly, it seemed, we were back at the hospital. I was vaguely aware of the staff, in a panic at seeing the emperor returning an escaped patient. I was shown to my room and laid down, my heart still beating far too quickly. He sat next to me for a while, but I did not look at him.

"What's wrong?" I thought I heard him ask. I didn't answer.

"I guess I should really let you rest," he said after a long time. I made the mistake of looking up at him. I nodded my agreement, but I couldn't look away.

He didn't look away, either. "Oh, Jade," he smiled. "I knew you'd come around." He reached down to stroke my arm once. And he rose to leave.

The infuriating mystery of the statement left me mute, and so I could only watch him go. There was no way to make him stay, I just knew, and so I watched in silence, and once he was gone, kept looking at the door through which he had disappeared. My pulse slowly subsided, but I did not escape the image of his face in my mind when I closed my eyes to finally sleep.


	5. Misery

(Gah so I've finally enabled anonymous reviewing-sorry about that. Also. This probably should have gotten a different rating like two chapters ago. Whatcha think? It's a fine line, and I'm not sure...But anyway here's probly my fav. chapter so far :)

Ch. 5 - Misery

I was released from the hospital after another two days of treatment and improvement. During that time I didn't see anyone from the palace. I heard no news of what was happening there, and thus when I did return to the military headquarters, I was accosted by Nordheim, who had been absent at the council meeting I'd called. As I walked by the door to his office that afternoon, he burst out as if expecting me.

"Major!"

"Sir?"

"May I speak with you?"

Once seated, and served coffee, he started in as though he'd been holding onto this for the whole time I'd been absent.

"You've done away with fomicry?"

"Yes, Sir."

"This is ridiculous…" He got up and paced. "Were you considering state security in this decision, or simply the whim of His Young Majesty? I'm aware that he has some grudge against the science…"

I thought for a moment, not wanting to speak rashly.

"If you have a quarrel with His Majesty, would it not be best to address it in a formal meeting, Sir?"

"Silence! Major, it's all well and good that you've been pampered and promoted by everyone in that palace, but let it go to your head too much, and I swear you will find yourself stripped of your title under my army."

"Yes, Sir."

"Ahem, but as for the reason I wanted to speak to you…"

Our spat had been but an introduction to real the business at hand. In lieu of the technology we'd done away with, in the last two days the council had agreed to pour more funds into military fon machinery. We were in need of a new advantage, in the event of recurring hostilities. I was to assist with these designs, Nordheim informed me.

I left the military complex both threatened and assured. I was to meet with the heads of fontech development later that afternoon, and supposedly give my input on design improvements for the army's machines. Until then, I needed to kill time in the capital. I decided to meet with Sesemann, just n case I'd committed some faux pas against him as well. I was told I'd find him in the audience hall of the palace.

Unfortunately this meant I had to see Peony and run the risk of his finding some new reason to be concerned over me. I would have to bear with it, I decided. When I entered the great hall, they were both there. While Sesemann remained contently in his chair to the left below the throne, the emperor immediately rose and began descending his staircase.

"You." He said. "I haven't gotten much company today. Looks like you're well enough to be of assistance?"

I found I was distracted as he spoke, to the point that I barely heard him. For some reason I couldn't stop watching him walk up to me in his flowingly uncouth, casual way.

"Thank you for staying in bed this time."

I nodded.

"So…how are you doing? You look like you've just seen a ghost or something. Come on, let's go for a walk, it's stuffy in here."

"I—I was hoping to meet with Sesemann, actually."

"Oh, Jade, you wound me," he said, smiling nonetheless. "I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow you for a moment. Right, Sesemann?"

The old man smiled, and raised a hand to shoo us out. "Have a good walk, Your Majesty."

I made a few attempts at objection, all cut short. Once we were out in the courtyard, Peony let go of my arm. I noticed just then that he had had it linked with mine, and began to feel slightly nauseous.

"So I assume you've heard about our new ambitions?" He said.

"I beg your pardon…"

"You talked to Nordheim…?"

"Oh, yes," I said, again struggling to focus on his words.

"Good. You see we have to give the military something, if not replicas."

"I know—it's a wise idea," I said.

"Quiet, you," he said. "It was my idea to begin with."

"I never said it wasn—"

"Build me something beautiful, Jade."

I stopped walking to look at him skeptically.

"You'll do it, don't worry." He turned and faced me, and gave me his smile. It was as overwhelming as the outdoor sunlight, and made my heart begin to pound in my ears again.

"Again, you look like someone stole your tongue."

"I…It's not like _I'll_ be building it. Only assisting with the fonic artes features."

"Right, _now_ you talk yourself down."

Since when had he had this kind of power over me? No, I wasn't ready to call it power. But why did the irritating little brat—at least, that's what I'd thought of him as back when we were children—why was he now so intent on making my life difficult? _Simply because he's not a little brat any more._ He knew he was powerful, and beautiful.

_What?_

Well I mean _he_ thought so. It was obvious by the way he so much as moved perfectly. I was looking into his eyes again. They were perhaps the most dangerous part of him. He blinked a few times, questioning my gaze, but then continued to smile back at me.

I don't think we had noticed for a while that we were staring at each other. I don't know if anyone else in the courtyard did, either. At some point, one of us—I don't remember who—laughed and looked away. We continued walking. I focused on the ground, and upon walking in a straight line, for dizziness was threatening me again. I wondered briefly if I should check myself back into the hospital. But we made it back to the palace without further hesitation. He seemed more intent on being civil than he had been before. I intently avoided the many glances he didn't know I saw him throw in my direction. Unfortunately, I still managed to catch sight of other details. Such as his hands. I knew they were capable: he'd used a sword before, but now they just looked too cared for, almost delicate. But I remembered that one of them had hit me. And then I wanted to take a hold of that same hand, just to feel its strength again. I realized also that I'd wanted to hit him back, ever since then.

Violent thoughts aside, I followed the emperor back into his chamber without any outward hint of the mental turmoil. It took me a few moments to notice that we were there, and not the main hall.

"Your majesty, what…?"

"Oh, I just had something I wanted to…" Peony started, distractedly going into the front room and to a chest of drawers. He opened the top one and started rifling through it.

"Hmm?" I questioned.

"I just thought of this," he said, still searching through the messy drawer. "You could say I like to collect weapons and things. And…ah." He pulled out a small, metal case. "I want you to have this."

I hesitated. He looked irritated, and opened it up to let me look inside. An ornately engraved, ruby capacity core shimmered out at me. I stepped back, shocked.

"That's too much, Your Majesty—I can't possibly—"

"I want you to. It was mine, when I attended lessons at the academy. But I have no need to fight any more, let alone to use artes. So I want you to take it."

I kept looking at it, still not moving, until he snapped the lid shut, took my hand, and placed the case in it and my fingers around it.

"Gelda Nebilim gave it to me. I thought it would mean something to you. Plus," he smirked, "it will match your eyes beautifully."

I felt a heat rise into my cheeks. He was still holding onto my hand, which held the little case. It took him a few moments to notice, and to let go. "For your future battles, and your future powers, My Jade."

"Oh—" I said dumbly. "It's… really too much. Thank you."

"Of course." With that, he quickly placed a hand on my arm, and squeezed it gently. As he let go and walked past me toward the door, I caught my breath and tried to ignore the shivers spreading from that arm throughout my body. The symptom had seemed to come from his quick gesture. I decided definitely to get myself checked up one more time.

"Are you going to stay in my room all day?" He was looking at me and holding the door open. I turned and walked quickly out, recovering myself before he'd noticed anything.

Once we'd parted, I made my way to the fontech lab. About halfway there, I remembered that I'd planned to meet with Sesemann. I tried to recall why I had wanted to in the first place, and couldn't, specifically. And it was pointless to return to the palace now. I made a mental note to go back later and convey my apologies.

Then I returned to trying not to think about Peony. And his eyes and hands, and his movement, and voice. This transfixion made me sick again, building an ache in my chest. I did my best to push it aside as I drew near to the lab, wondering what the team had in store for me. Or what I was to have in store for them.

Several hours and rough plans later, I could tell the engineers were growing enthusiastic. Between my knowledge and theirs, we found several ways in which to improve upon the design of the Malkuth land dreadnaught and its artillery. The progress had been very quick, and by nightfall, the details were ready to be processed and sent to Sheridan the next morning. It was late, then, and the team sent me home, concerned for my health.

I'd been feeling fine for much of that day, excepting the strange spell at the palace. I made the mistake of beginning to think over all of the day's events. The meeting had kept me nicely distracted, but by the time I neared home, my mind was stuck on him again. The ache began to return. I recognized this before too long, and began to struggle against it. I focused on walking steadily forward, once again. But I dreaded the rest of the night.

A distraction awaited me when I returned home. A servant handed me a letter that had been waiting for me. Immediately recognizable was Dist's ornate handwriting. "I heard you came back here," it read. "Come see me soon—I need to know you're alright."

I sighed, and continued into the house. The chest pain had disappeared and been replaced by a headache.

Dist was already in his lab when I arrived later that night. He saw me and dropped what he was doing, beginning to rush over. He only regained an ounce of composure when I stopped and looked sternly at him.

"You're alright…" he breathed.

"Why else would they have relocated me?" I said.

"'Why else'? At first I thought you may have died." He was trying not to cry.

"Please." I continued toward him, slowly. "I will not be done away with by a few glitches."

He was staring at me, blinking. I prepared myself to tell him about the ban I'd placed on fomicry.

"Saphir—"

"Don't call me that. Come on, I've already been working all night, since you're so late. I'm tired. Let's go to Daath."

I was about to ask him why I would want to go with him, when I considered the alternatives. I had come here as a distraction. I could only go back home, to face the strange syndrome that had come into my life.

"Fine," I blurted, decided I could crush his dreams another day.

His home was messier than when I'd last seen it. He'd obviously been preoccupied. My best guess was that the research had been his primary focus.

"I'll go get the spirits," he said.

"They allow alcohol in the cathedral?"

"No."

We were soon drunk enough to be entwined on the floor. Dist couldn't stop running his slender fingers through my hair, even when they caught because he was too intoxicated to pull gently. My only thought was to tear at his clothes until they were no longer obstructing me. I began to kiss at his neck, preoccupied, as I put this plan into action. He whined at me in anticipation, though I'd done nothing in particular yet. Even still, when much of his ensemble lay around us on the floor and I began to run a hand along his hip, pulling myself closer to him, he scooted away from me and placed a hand on my chest.

"No…"

"What?"

He got up, swaying a little, and then slumped back down on the bed. "Come here." He lay down on his back and began to stretch out in all sorts of strange ways, looking at me. I stood up, but made no move closer.

He whined my name, and after I still didn't respond, he got to his feet again. He came and tugged me down onto the bed. This time he gave me no opportunity to shove him away. He kept his arms and his lips locked with mine, and I could scarcely breath. I felt paralyzed when he tried to pull me on top of him, my limbs and my thoughts as heavy as lead. Repulsed, I closed my eyes.

This did not stop him, however. He began to run his hand through my hair again, and kiss me, lest I try to object. I made no move. I kept my mind blank, and focused on that darkness within it. But my mind didn't stay blank. Beyond my control, it found its way back to the inevitable, or at least what had at some point become the inevitable. Peony; to his hand on my arm, and his smile. How his presence seemed to me weak, and I hated that, and wanted it.

What if it were his fingers caught in my hair?

I began to return the kiss, caught in the image of him. It was all still in my mind. So long as it was safe there, it would be of no consequence. Dist would never know. It only made him happy when I clutched him to me, and then pushed him onto his back again. He was whispering sweet nothings to me, which I tried to tune out. I kissed him, my eyes still closed.

_God, to be this close to him…_

Soon I was making love to that body as I never had before. I continued to clutch it and not let it go. Once I only barely stopped myself as Peony's name was a whisper on my lips. I buried my face in his neck to hide anything that could have given me away. The embrace lasted until Dist's cries overpowered my delusion. I woke up from the dream just as he was shuddering to stillness beneath me. I felt only coldness then, and could not look him in the eye. He clung to me for the rest of the night, but we did not speak.

I woke up to find myself alone in the bed, the next morning, but there was a note on Dist's pillow.

You refused to wake up, so I've gone to the cavern to get an early start on our work. Meet me as soon as you can, sleepyhead.

Yours Truly,

Dist the Rose

Soon enough, everything from the previous night came rushing back to me in a sickening wave. I was knocked back onto the bed, remembering the feeling of almost being that close to Peony. I could hardly stop myself from completely recalling my delusion, and growing faint under its power once again. But I wrested my thoughts away from the horrible and blissful place that they wanted to be in, and placed them back in that room. In Dist's bed.

I couldn't go meet him at the lab. Full of disgust at many things, I got quickly dressed, managed to look presentable, and left from the Daath port on a boat to Sheridan to discuss our plans with the engineers there.

The team told me that they were honored to meet me, but admitted to being nervous, too. My reputation had spread across the country. Before I left, Tamara, one of the directors, caught up with me and handed me a finished schematic of the new dreadnaught.

"Would you please deliver this to his Majesty? We'd like to know that it meets his approval."

"Certainly," I said, irritated that my heart raced at her request.

The Palace awaited me, encircled with a rainbow glimmering off the mist of the waterfall behind it, as it often was. Remaining composed, I entered the great doors, and then ascended the stairs and was admitted into the audience hall. My only aim was not to look at Peony as I handed him the scroll. This didn't work out, since he called my name as soon as I was within speaking distance, making me glance up. Soon I was caught in his disorienting gaze. Before I knew what I was doing, I knelt at the base of the steps in front of him.

"What are you doing, Jade?" He asked, a barely containing a laugh. This irritation helped me to maintain a straight face, once I'd quickly stood up again. To make matters worse, Sesemann was looking at me strangely.

"Sir," I addressed him. "Your Majesty, I've brought you the plans from Sheridan."

Sesemann took them from me and handed them to Peony.

"Oh, good," he said. "Thank you." Without a second glance, he busied himself with looking at the illustration.

Sesemann nodded his head at me. "Thank you, Major, that will be all."

I nodded and left quickly, intent on never returning.

I tried to stay busy at home in the manor, but ended up sitting idly, trying not to think about how Peony had disregarded me after I'd handed him that letter. Had I made an irreparable fool out of myself? Was he tired of me? Did he know something…?

But Nordheim had been right. I shouldn't have let any of his attention go to my head. Never mind that it was all I could think about.

For a moment, going to talk to Dist nearly seemed preferable to remaining here, wallowing in one way or another. But I stayed, either out of fear of facing him, or of a sick masochism, wanting to be alone with these thoughts. I retired early and waited for hours to fall asleep.

_The next was a bright day, as usual. His chamber was lit by the sunlight, which shimmered through the waterfall. My mouth was sealed shut, and I was mute and stupid, but he stared happily into my eyes anyway. _

_ "My Jade…" He reached over and took my hand. I couldn't look down, though, because my neck wouldn't move. But I didn't mind looking at him, anyway. I hardly saw him move. I only felt the softness of his form and his clothes against me as he embraced me. I felt his lips on my neck, but I couldn't see what was happening. It didn't matter though, for I was happy, and more alive than I ever had been. _

I awoke, alone, in my dark room, rebelling against the peace that the dream had brought me. There was nothing to feel peaceful about. This dream—it made everything all too clear. It was a breaking point. I had to stop. There was no way in Lorelei that I should have been entertaining these thoughts and feelings.

And yet there it was, more apparent than ever. I was a fool. No better than the child I'd thought I grown away from. No better off than Saphir and his obsession with me. When had this even taken hold of me…? I hated it. It had me defeated, for the time being.

I stayed home, and had planned to do so for the rest of the day, until I was summoned. It was for a council meeting.

Out of a sort of overcompensation, I was the first to be seated at the long table. I took out the necessary documents and read over them intently, not looking at anyone who came in.

"Major Curtiss," Nordheim interrupted my concentration. I snapped my head up, only to see him nod a greeting. I nodded back, but only received a puzzled scowl from him at my failure to stand up, salute, and address him by title. By the time I recognized my mistake, however, it was too late. I quietly returned to reading.

It was no use—I sensed the moment he walked through the door. Never mind the hush that came over the room; my stomach began to turn in anticipation a second before I heard his voice addressing a councilmember who walked in with him.

Whatever plan I'd had regarding shutting down my thoughts fell to rubble as all rational thought quickly ebbed away throughout the meeting. At first I was able to keep myself distracted by staring at my hands. This did not work because I could still hear his voice. Next, I tried watching each person who spoke. But unfortunately, His Majesty did much of the speaking. After a while, though, this began not to bother me. I didn't care any more that I couldn't take my eyes off of Peony as he leaned back in the tall chair, twirling one strand of gold hair, only to grow restless and lean forward with his elbows on the table, lips pursed. His freeness had a grace to it that I didn't understand. Soon I had surrendered to the fact that there was nothing in the world I'd rather be doing than witnessing him.

"Major! Do we have your agreement on this matter?"

I snapped my head over to where Nordheim stared me down.

"Of course, Sir."

He studied me, but left it alone. Once he was safely distracted, I returned to my favorite pastime, only to find him looking over at me, his chin on his hand. He seemed to startle when I met his eyes. He looked quickly over to Sesemann, who was talking at that moment.

By the time we adjourned, my only focus was upon not being spoken to. I escaped the room quickly enough, and was almost out of the entrance hall, when he called me back.

"Leaving so quickly?" He said, jogging over to me.

"Is there a reason I should stay?" I asked, suddenly trying not to recall the previous night's foolish dream, and how he was even more stunning in real life.

"Well…" he thought for a moment. "No. I've just… missed your company. You haven't had many meetings with Sesemann lately. So I've heard," he added quickly.

"Oh…" I trailed off.

"Are you alright?" He stepped closer.

"Fine!" I snapped, pulling away and turning to exit the hall.

"Wait." He caught me before I was all the way out. We were then in the smaller foyer, alone. I refused to look at him.

"You're telling me you're 'fine'?"

"That's what I told you, yes."

"Well if I'd wanted a lie, I would have asked for one."

"If I were trying to lie effectively, I would have done a better job, I should hope," I said, losing my breath again.

He bit his lip. If I wasn't mistaken, he looked slightly flustered as well. Perhaps this was wishful, thinking, though.

"Fine, run away. You're only my friend… you know you can confide in me if anything's bothering you."

"I probably should," I said. "I should run." And I left, escaping his penetrating gaze and accompanying questions. It was nightfall outside, and though cold, refreshingly empty and open. I walked to the end, where the terrace looked out over the sea, and leaned against the wall. I wanted to be near him again already. The pain of separation, then, was sobering.

Dist was still waiting for me at the laboratory when I arrived, a while later. He pretended to ignore me at first, concentrating instead on soldering a machine, the sparks reflected in his spectacles.

"Oh, you've decided to join me. How kind!" He hissed.

"May we talk?"

Eventually I persuaded him to step outside the room, away from the fon machines and in the quiet of the cavern. I ran a useless preface, but I doubt it lessened the blow.

"I've placed a ban on all fomicry. I won't be involved with it any longer. And neither shall you."

"Are you mad…?" He took off his glasses.

"Perhaps not any more."

"What?"

"The research. It's pointless. I cannot bring Gelda Nebilim back. Nor do I want to any longer."

"But—this is what you wanted…" He said, confused.

"Dist… Saphir—I'm sorry. It must stop."

"What… are you saying?"

"We will no longer be working together…"

He stared at me painfully, anticipating my next statement.

"I regret that I have been leading you on a false belief. It's been a lie. You and I must stop this."

"No!" He shouted, making the cavern ring.

"It's the first fair thing I've ever given you. Please, take back your affection. It's wasted on me."

I turned and walked away, leaving him where he stood. His cries escalated through the vaults, and I could hear them even after I boarded my ship to return home.

I shuddered, periodically, as I walked through the quiet night of Grand Chokmah. My only fair purgatory, I decided, for letting myself fall so far from where I belonged. Perhaps I should have felt some remorse at having left Saphir in such a state. But did he not deserve his pain as much as I did mine? The only difference: I had cut him off cleanly.

I was anywhere from free or resolved as I again lay awake, giving in to let myself think about everything about him. In bitterness, in heaven, and in misery.


	6. Treasure

(Finally-Spring break, and I have time and will edit/upload the rest of this crap : )

Chapter 6 - Treasure

For the next two months I lived like that, if you could call it a life. My days consisted of avoiding the palace, and wishing I were there. I most commonly ended up between the two, at the bar. It was the ideal place: I could forget about most things, and I was left mostly alone. Every few visits, the barkeeper would ask me if there was 'someone special' on my mind, but he was otherwise discreet.

I took on as many away patrol missions as were available, but I could not use up all of my time with the army. Sesemann still insisted that I was needed in the council and as his apprentice. I continued to try to convince him that I was not the best candidate, but it seemed that the more I objected and attempted to demean my own abilities, the more he insisted that I had much potential as a chief of staff, "and a human being."

One day I made the mistake of asking him what humanity had to do with it. I was answered with a glare.

"Did you suppose good decision-making has only to do with your head?"

I was silent for a while.

"What about power? Do you think it's useful, or can be achieved without use of the heart?"

Again I couldn't reply.

"Hmm," The old man thought, after he knew I didn't have an answer. "Jade, have you spoken with His Majesty lately?"

"I've attended all of the council meetings for several months now, yes."

"I see." he said, looking at me as though I'd gotten a wrong answer.

We didn't meet again for a while after that. He'd told me that for the time being, my assignment was to go live, not to listen to his ramblings. I took that as his way of relieving me as his apprentice. I thought it was a good sign, and was thankful that I wouldn't have to return to the castle so often anymore.

My only exposure to _him_ for the next few weeks after that was during meetings, at which there were several others present. I was forced to remain composed, which helped me immeasurably. Outside of the palace, I lived a more peaceful life. I devoted my time to collaborating with the Sheridan engineers on what would become Malkuth's newest machines, and to refining my own fonic and spear artes. Through enough distraction, I nearly found mental normalcy. Shamefully enough, there were bad days. On those, the bar provided a fine comfort.

One such day prompted the manager's concern for me. Though he relented, handing me my next drink, he had to ask, "Major…you still haven't resolved this, have you."

"You're not paid as my therapist, are you." I told him.

"Oh, this isn't therapy, Sir," he said. "It's entertainment."

I told him that I admired his honesty.

"But really…Major Curtiss, what's eating you?"

"It's my birthday," I told him.

"Oh—well happy birthday. How many of them, now?"

"Twenty-five," I slurred.

"Ah! Yeah…good times. Huh. Only twenty-five?"

"Indeed…" I thought about it. "Do I look old?"

"Only maybe 'cause of the fancy uniform. Quite the opposite actually. And hey, that makes you the same age as Emperor Peony, huh? Good year I guess."

"Not really. He's twenty-six in two weeks," I blurted.

"Ah," the man nodded, "I stand corrected."

That night, two kind citizens carried me from the bar to a carriage, escorted me home, and dropped me off on the sitting room sofa, much to the horror of the servants who were still awake. They had never seen me quite so unkempt. The next morning I received a firm lecture from General Curtiss, which led to nothing more than threats and my dragging myself out of the house despite my headache.

Two weeks later, and the emperor threw himself a birthday party. Our whole house received invitations, and of course it was assumed that we would attend.

Evening came, and I wasn't particularly worried. I could hide well with the crowd outside in the palace courtyard. After the rest of House Curtiss, I wore my formal military attire, despite the other nobles planning to dress their most extravagant. This and the decorations alone were an occasion, plus the fact that the public was welcome to mingle and view the entertainment in the courtyard as well. I remained outside for as long as I could, only relenting to retire into where the other nobles were after etiquette gave me no choice.

The audience hall, doubling as a ballroom, was filled with guests, but there had been an opening cleared in front of the throne, from which we could offer our gifts and blessings. Peony sat on his throne, making every effort to socialize effectively from afar. Before I had caught myself, I had stopped walking and was staring at him from across the hall. He was sublime—but so high and so far from me. I could tell from my position that he was uncomfortable in the formal wear, but it hardly detracted from him. His restlessness only brought a color to his cheeks and a vulnerability that one did not see often. I hadn't realized that I had continued stepping forward, closer, mindlessly staring at him, until I was far too close, and nearly ran into the woman in front of me.

It took me a moment longer to notice that he had been looking directly at me for some time. The guests closest to him, trying to carry on a conversation, pulled back when it was obvious he was deaf to them. I thought for a moment that he would rise and come to meet me, but he stayed motionless, looking surprised, if nothing else. I didn't stop walking forward, however, until I reached the base of the marble steps, still looking powerlessly into his eyes. We remained in this state for some time, until he spoke, barely over his breath.

"You're here."

I bowed my head deeply. "Why wouldn't I be, my lord?"

My head was still lowered when I heard him announce that the formalities had gone on long enough, and he was going to mingle with the guests. I was still looking at my hands when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Maybe because I haven't seen you in months."

I looked up, and he was so close that I felt my hands become unsteady. I nodded.

"Would you…would you like to join me in the courtyard?"

It was the first time he'd ever wanted a serious answer from me. It was all I could do to keep my face like stone. I nodded again. Then he took my arm, entwining his around it. He was shorter and slighter than I, and he fit perfectly next to me, I noticed as we walked together. And I felt something—it was his hand, shaking, holding my wrist.

Soon we were outdoors. We were in darkness, so long as we stayed in between the lanterns that were hung throughout the courtyard.

Occasionally someone would recognize the emperor and give his or her surprised birthday wishes, and sometimes he would leave my side to push into a group, create an uproar of bowing and congratulations, and then leave, always returning to me. We joined in watching the performers and took part in the dancing through much of the night. We heard, several times, that the capital had not had a party like this since Peony's great-grandfather had been emperor.

Once, we were both startled after coming face-to-face with several members of the council, including Nordheim and Sesemann. While I tried to drop Peony's arm immediately, he only clutched tighter to mine, passing our proximity off as casual camaraderie. His men all bowed, again wishing him a happy evening. Nordheim seemed to eye me suspiciously. Sesemann, smiling from beneath his eyebrows, checked the time and gave a courteous farewell for the night. We excused ourselves from the officials as well, and continued through and past the thickest of the crowd. Before long we were at the edge of the terrace, where only those who fled the noise and crush stood, talking quietly and too closely to notice anything else.

I had ended up with a drink in one hand. I set it on the terrace wall in favor of steadying myself against the stone.

"Are you drunk?" He asked.

"In a sense," I said without thinking. At this he smiled, his eyes lit up by the moon.

"I'm glad you came back… after the last time we spoke," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever," he said. "You're here now."

I froze, after that. He was quiet too, for some time. We both looked out to the water, but eventually began to chase each other's eyes. I would glance at him, only to see his head turning back away from me. It was only a matter of time before we caught each other.

When he finally held his gaze as I looked up, I found myself locked in some trap set by his deep blue eyes. This time, I saw that my own hell was reflected in them. We were caught in the same pain, I suddenly realized. And he knew it too. The knowledge did nothing to help us. I don't know how long we stood, powerless against this force, yet powerless to do anything about it, before a guest approached us. Just to wish him goodnight. I could have lost my composure at the man right there, but I clenched my jaw closed and turned back out toward the sea.

When the emperor was finished bidding his guests farewell, he did come back over to me and apologize, but we could no longer look at each other. We both waited for something to happen for several more minutes. When nothing did, I took it upon myself to notice the moon's position and notify him that it was very late. We turned around, and sure enough, most guests had left.

"Ha, they'll probably be looking for me, about now," he said.

"And I should be getting home." I said.

"I suppose. But come to think of it, is your carriage still here?"

"Damn," I realized. "They probably left with it. No matter, I'll walk home."

"No," he said firmly.

"No?"

"Stay here."

"Your Majesty, I can't accept—"

"Jade. It's far too late. Let me just offer you hospitality."

I didn't feel like arguing with him then. I relented.

We ascended the stairs to the upper rooms of the palace, where we found a few rooms unlocked. They looked prepared enough, luckily. Most of the staff were asleep then.

Peony walked me right up to the room he deemed best, and followed me inside, to be sure of my satisfaction. It didn't occur to me for a few moments that we were alone in the chamber. He was a mere feet from me, still, in fact. The strange intoxication that he induced in me was returning. I realized that no one was here—no one would know—if I were too suddenly act rashly…

"So, this is alright?" He said.

"Yes." I didn't want him to leave.

"Good." He looked as though he were about to do just that.

Just as he was almost to the door, I walked over and caught him by the arm.

"Don't go."

He looked surprised. "…what?"

"I…" I had never before tried to implore anyone with my eyes. I did so now. But he only looked away.

"Jade. I… I know. I can't stay. I just…" He pulled away from me. "I just can't."

"Wait. Peony…"

He looked as though my pathetic pleas were stabbing him. "If I stay here with you, I won't ever be able to leave your side. I couldn't bring myself to marry anyone else—to continue the line. To do my duty to my country. As much as I—hate—this, I can't change it. I can only hope we'll remain together through our respective duties and our friendship."

And he was walking out of the door, and gone before I was able to speak again. I was suffocated for some time, imploding.

I had just ruined everything, somehow. Why had this curse taken a hold of me? Why was it not beaten through reason? Just my fate; to be met with a force I had no way of fighting. It took me completely in the darkness, and I fell onto the bed, gasping and feeling a strange prickling from within my eyes.

Damn him. Had he truly helped us both by tearing away from me? I knew that he had.

Perhaps I fell asleep eventually. I kicked off my shoes at some point, and let my glasses fall to the floor, but after that I lay comatose on top of the covers. I couldn't stop my mind from running through the events of the whole evening. Inevitably they would linger on the closest moments I'd shared with him. The memory of his presence near me drew an involuntary moan out of me that woke me up from a half-sleep.

I lay motionless until sleep came again. I was only aware that it had after I'd been woken up again. I sat up, heart racing from the abrupt awakening, expecting to remember a dream or reflex that had shocked me awake, but none came. There was nothing, until suddenly a knock on my door, again. Again?

It was what had woken me. I waited, frozen. Another soft knock, and then a voice. I didn't hear what it said. And then, the door opened, and he rushed in, closing it behind him. I still couldn't move, only looked at him as he steadied himself against the door.

"A wise friend once told me, 'you're the emperor; you can do whatever you want.' Damn it I think it's time I took her advice."

And then he was next to me, a hand on mine.

I only whispered his name as I struggled to react. All too soon I realized that there was no reaction. Only the two of us next to each other, his cheek now resting against mine. My arm taking a hold of his, and his other one wrapping around my waist.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into my ear.

"Well, so am I," I said. "I never wanted to pull you away from your dut—"

"…Actually I'm really not," he said, pulling me more tightly to him. "That was just the council getting to me after weeks of haranguing. I just now realized I'm sick of it and they need to mind their own fucking business."

Blindly, our noses bumped in the dark. We hesitated there, almost still, but drifting closer. I felt his lips smile just as they touched mine. Something more akin to a gasp threatened in my chest, but it calmed as we remained motionless for several moments in the kiss. All at once I leaned my head against his, and embraced his lips more deeply. He returned my gesture immediately. The same shivers that I'd felt before at the simplest touch now rose throughout me, many times more powerful and giving me my first definition of bliss. All at once our arms were around each other, and our hands in each other's hair. We'd still not broken apart.

Eventually we did, to take deep breaths, and between them he whispered, "I'm only sorry for ever being cautious. My dear Jade."

"My emperor…" is what came to me, effortlessly. I took his head in one of my hands and began to kiss each part of his face, as though I couldn't stop if I'd wanted to. He began trying to catch me through the same motions, and we chased each other until we'd caught each other's lips again.

Very soon we lay on the bed, holding onto each other as though we wanted to become one. We were very still, then, though. Just being close to him, stroking his hair, in a daze, was enough.

"I think I've wanted you since…" He laughed. "Oh, I don't know, since I saw you here in the city, for the very first time."

"Ha—what?" I laughed too, in disbelief.

"It's not like I knew it or anything. But really… you were all grown up, devastatingly handsome… an officer…but still my brilliantly cold friend. I just needed you near me."

"Well, I've needed you," I admitted. "I certainly didn't know it for some time."

He kissed me again, at that.

"—I was about to say: at the same time, I've never met anyone thicker."

I felt our breaths start to rise, but I broke it off before we could pull each other any closer.

"And this… this isn't about Nephry…?"

I couldn't see the slap coming, through the dark. It still stung as he tore into me.

"How dare you. That was so long ago—we were children. She remains my dear friend; that is all. How dare you question me." He shook his head. "And believe me, My Jade, you are a completely different animal."

"How lovely," I smirked.

"Mhm. And I still want you to be my chief of staff some day. I don't care if you haven't been seeing Sesemann lately—I've decided, and you're not getting out of it."

"Your Majesty, at this point I must question your motives—"

"Don't make me hit you again. It's just not about that. You are the smartest person I've ever known. To pass you up for anyone else would be foolish."

"I…see." I stammered.

In no time we were caught in another hopeless embrace. I felt his arms pulling me always closer, and his legs moving against mine. I tried to deny, then, that I wanted him completely. I held the silly notion that this night was pure and sacred. I had the feeling he thought similarly, for he held back too. One right move and he could have had me dying, needing to tear into him right there, but he only poured his passion into our kiss. Eventually, we stilled, and just lay, holding each other.

But all at once, an unwelcome thought broke into my bliss. The last person I had been with—never mind even who it had been—had served as a fantasy about this very moment. I had tainted the thought of Peony through someone else's body.

I had to right that, now.

I whispered my emperor's name, propped myself up on one elbow, and kissed him from above.

"Oh, Jade," he knew instantly. "Please."

After a few more moments, his words dawned on me.

"Never thought I'd hear you beg, Your Majesty."

He laughed. "Being you, you might hear it occasionally."

I felt myself smile as I wrapped both my arms further around him, and as gradually he was beneath me. Our bodies fit so well together to begin with, I still felt almost as though lying against him was enough. But it was not completely enough.

He gasped the moment I moved against him. The slightest shift, and we were both in hell again—but the best kind, this time. Though that night had become timeless, I felt that it was not very long until we were together, completely and perfectly.

Never mind his whimpers of pain, as I was the first to have taken him like this, it was perfect nevertheless. He assured me of this, covering my mouth as I tried to apologize. The only words between us were abstract, and to every sentimental thing he told me, I could only reply right back with the same.

I knew his pain lessened eventually, and he relaxed and began to move in response under me, giving rise to such sensations as I'd never felt before, even in the best dreams. He would tell me later that if people cared about each other, it was always better, but I'd have liked to believe that the two of us could simply take the credit as well.

When there was no more either of us could give, and I began to move away from him, he held onto me, keeping me inside him.

"You feel perfect. I'm not ready to let you go yet."

At this I kissed him deeply, then rested my head on his shoulder for some time, relaxing into the perfection.

Before I knew it, however, he'd moved away, only to place a hand on my shoulder.

"Wh—?"

He pulled my other arm from beneath me, letting me land on my back. Then, all at once, he was on top of me.

"Sorry, my dear, but you aren't the only one who gets to claim someone tonight."

All too soon I was biting my tongue and digging my nails into his back. I hadn't felt pain to this extent in a long time, if ever. It wasn't as though Saphir had ever…

"Relax, darling. God you're a tight…control freak…" his speech cut off with each effort, and with each one, new streaks of pain shot up my entire body.

But at the same time… it was wonderful. And I couldn't hold back cries that were soon expressions of pure pleasure. I could just feel him smirk in the dark. He didn't release me until I was too weak to cry or to hold onto him any longer. He, too, had spent all remainders of his energy, and we both collapsed next to each other.

It was then that we saw the dawn emerging through the windows, just beginning to shimmer through the waterfall. The sky beyond showed its first signs of golden light. As I drifted off, a puzzling feeling kept my mind occupied. The feeling made me want to smile involuntarily. I could only assume it was pure happiness. He took my hand, and we continued to watch the sunrise, until we slept.

TBC...


	7. Pleasantness

Chapter 7 – Pleasantness

After that night, it was surprisingly easy for us to exist in the same room during meetings, other official business, and simply when I had to go visit him in the audience hall as his servant. We could get by with the most subliminal of communication. I found I could soon read the small looks he tossed at me, whether they were expressions of distaste at someone, or just to bother me. I took to glaring coldly at him from across rooms and tables. I enjoyed when this seemed to puzzle the others, but I didn't miss the faint smirk that appeared on his face each time.

Outside of the conference room, however, we were much less careful. When there was no one else in site, he took to catching me by surprise, suddenly pinning me against the nearest wall, only to kiss me and enjoy the surprise on my face. Being a soldier, I couldn't help but to feel humiliated at my own lack of reflexivity. Somehow he knew how to launch the perfect ambush against me. But pushed far enough, and I would snap, have to lock us both in the nearest vacant room, and have my way with him. This was of course fine with both of us. Most of the time, I was sure he provoked me hopefully.

The next several months went quickly by, as it did not occur to me how strangely happy I was, most of the time. Nephry called us "infatuated," since, of course, Peony told her everything the next time he took me to Keterburg with him. For me, she only had admonitions.

"Please take care of him, Jade. I really don't know how you got so lucky."

We were at dinner at the new house she had recently moved into.

"Oh, you'd call it lucky?" I said.

She only looked at me in disgust.

"Oh it'll dawn on him someday," said Peony. "I mean, not a moment goes by when I'm not thankful to have been blessed with his affecti—"

"Thank you, that's enough, both of you," I said, and not long after, decided to kiss him in front of my sister. She seemed hardly fazed, much to my reassurance.

I'd probably never had a more enjoyable time in Keterburg. My family visits were few. I stayed instead at Peony's manor, and we spent a week almost constantly together, free from business and the city and the council. I felt, then, that I could truly call him mine.

But we returned to Grand Chokmah all too soon. As peaceful as the vacation had left us, it only took a few short days of being home under the proper circumstances to transform me back in to a—well…

"You cold bastard!" Peony yelled at me as I looked back, blankly. "You tell me that you love me, just a few days ago, and now you're nearly getting yourself killed on patrol, only to deny me a moment's visit in the hospital?"

He was over-exaggerating, of course. I'd merely been injured when one of the older land-ships in the fleet had malfunctioned. It had knocked me out, but there was no lasting damage. And now he stood over me as though this were my deathbed, even though I'd declined to see him.

"I thought it more proper for you to wait until I was well enough to return to my duties."

"I see." He narrowed his eyes and nodded sarcastically. "So glad you've found your true passion—propriety. Remind me of that the next time you let me abduct you from your duties on my next vacation!"

"I do—I…was only trying protecting you and your honor."

"I can protect my own damn self. …You do what_?_"

"I…love you."

"And I you, you idiot," he sat down next to me. "You're worth more to me than whatever "honor" I'd stand to lose. And…and you nearly died."

"That's completely untrue."

"Well if it is, I didn't know that," his voice nearly shook.

I took his hand. "We can both learn from this, I suppose. You just mustn't worry, every time I'm assigned a mission. And I… well," I grabbed his arm and pulled him down to kiss me. I sensed his pent-up worry instantly, but felt it leave him, gradually, as I held him as securely as I ever had. He only broke away to lean an elbow on either side of me, and grin down at me, cattishly.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I just think that I probably have a thing for doctors. And doctors in hospitals… so why not doctor patients in hospitals?"

"What of it…?"

"Well, are you truly as recovered as you say you are?"

I had nothing to say to that. Challenge accepted, I let him pull away the ugly hospital gown, cover us with the sheets, and begin "healing" me. I wasn't worried until his kisses started to travel down my stomach. He began to strike a nerve, and I began to have trouble remaining calm.

"And after all the trouble you've given me today," he said, "I'm still feeling generous."

"What—" I began to mouth when I sensed his plan.

"Shh," he purred. "This shouldn't hurt a bit."

_Lorelei, it did not hurt one bit._

I yelled behind biting my lip, higher than I'd ever been on pain medication that day. I lost consciousness of almost everything, and soon his name did escape my lips. He did not let up until I was flat on the bed again, breathless and still in a daze.

"God…"

"I know," he shrugged, slinking back up the bed to lie next to me. We fell asleep together, and I don't know how long we were there. I only woke up when a nurse let herself in. He was still next to me, and I knew she took surprised note of it. She said nothing, however, except to tell me that I'd been released, and could leave whenever I chose.

"Thank you," I said uncertainly. Then I shook him gently awake. I told him only that I wished to leave.

"I suppose I have no choice but to give you a clean bill of health," he said, stretching. "Alright, let's go."

Without hesitation he ordered that his carriage take us both back to the palace.

"I should really report to headquarters."

"Who are they to know if you stay here one night instead of the infirmary? Sorry, but I'm not letting you go quite yet."

"If you insist," I smiled, and pushed him down upon the padded carriage seat.

The next morning, I finally reported to headquarters. What I awaited me made my week all the brighter. I was denied entrance to Nordheim's office, on the grounds of a "confidential" meeting being held there. I told myself that taking it out on the guard would not accomplish anything, and so I waited quietly. After several moments of my pacing, the lieutenant generals emerged, going their separate ways and not looking at me. I walked quickly back up to Nordheim's door and barged in before he could close it again.

"Sir, may I ask what's going on?"

He started and looked up from his desk.

"Jade," he started, as though I were an unpleasant scent. "I'm forced to address this… matter of most seriousness."

I stood still and waited for an explanation.

"We have decided, in view of your exemplary service to Malkuth, to allow you pardon with a grave warning, regarding this matter, should you comply with reason."

I still waited.

"Hem. Your _conflict of interests,_ Jade."

"My what?"

"Don't play stupid, boy. You and—whatever it is you think you are doing with _His Majesty_! It's become common knowledge, or did you not care to foresee that?"

I had to laugh, all too unsurprised. "I would hardly call that a _conflict_ of interests, Sir."

"So you don't deny it?"

"Why should I, if it's common knowledge?"

"Well then, I must seriously question your thinking. Major. Agree to keep your professional distance, and I will be happy not push this issue any further. But should you, for whatever reason, refuse, I will have no other choice but to relieve you of duty immediately. I shall also be forced to inform General Curtiss of the situation and your indiscretions. For I must do my service to Malkuth, and its imperial line. It is time for the emperor to consider marriage. Not to continue engaging in frivolous—"

"It's hardly frivolous."

He looked like I'd slapped just him. "Don't end your own career like this."

"You'd be the one ending me career, Sir, not I."

"Then stop your idiocy immediately."

"I don't believe I have any idiocy," I drawled. I knew I was provoking him much too far, but there was no point in trying to recover now.

To his credit, as incensed as he was, with trembling voice and mustache, he kept his voice lowered as he dealt the blow.

"Then consider yourself a civilian, and never return here again. And should you be seen near the palace, we will take immediate restrictive action against you."

There was nothing I could say, then. "Understood."

And that was that.

When I tried to return to the palace, sure enough, the guards reluctantly stopped me at the front gates. Nordheim's subordinates had done their work quickly.

I did my part, and stayed away from central Grand Chokmah for the next few days. Nordheim's second threat seemed to have been a bluff, however. The Curtiss family mentioned nothing to about the "scandal," behaving very much as usual.

I bided my time, and considered different ways I could get to Peony. I didn't want his influence or his sympathy. I simply missed him.

Around the city, I began to notice that the company I had commanded was still active. I soon realized that they were being lead by the same young officer each day. He was unfamiliar to me—most likely transferred in to replace me. As much as I'd have liked to deny it, this began to bother me as much as anything else. I took to following them—and him—around, listening to clues as to the upstart's identity. I decided, based on his uniform and what I'd heard the soldiers address him as on a few different occasions, that he was also a major. Major "Frings," by what they called him.

It wouldn't truly have mattered if I'd lost all dignity and confronted him in public, since I had nothing else to lose, professionally. But I felt I was still worth more—and he was not worth enough—to shame myself further.

When I decided I could no longer stand to watch him and the cadets, I took other interests. I began to do my own amateur investigative work on Malkuth's underground. It was fascinating to view all manner of criminal people and events without having to arrest anybody. Almost refreshing, but more irritating and inductive to a sense of guilt that I tried to ignore.

Alarmingly, I was able to stay fairly on top of the military's actions through this network. I could see no other reason for this besides the existence of a leak among the ranks, whether malicious or not. In disguise, I was able to pay off various informants as to the progress of the land-ships, the state of the peace treaty between Malkuth and Kimlasca, and Major Frings. The dreadnaughts were very nearly complete, ready to join the fleet and complete their maiden voyages. Despite this, the treaty remained strong. Frings, as I suspected, had recently been transferred from the Kimlascan border, and just as recently received a promotion to major. I learned that there was much unrest among this underground, regarding the army's new technology, particularly among the survivors from Hod.

I had not known until that week that there were in fact many of them left, nor how bitter they were at their own country. They felt betrayed, and some even blamed the disaster directly on Malkuth. On its fontech experiments, and for using the island as a sacrifice to further the war. At the time, I had not known enough to sense this. But given some of the things I heard, then, their claims began to seem plausible.

I couldn't help but to consider what might arise, should all of these conditions together meet a breaking point. I began to worry. On the night that I learned of the new fleet's arrival in the city, I decided upon making myself invisibly present at the christening of the flagship the next day.

By the time I reached the city's outskirts the next morning, where the massive vessel was parked and awaiting its ceremony, there was already a decent crowd. From these people, I sensed only awe and pride. There was nothing, so far, to suggest any reason for my concern. An hour later, and officers began to clear a path through the citizens in preparation for the Emperor and other officials. An area was marked in hung velvet cords around the ship, and the excitement quickly picked up. Preferring not to be arrested that day, I made my way as close as I could to the ship without being too noticeable from the platform that had been placed in front of its bow. I was so busy making sure I was well-enough hidden, I didn't notice Peony making his way along the cleared path, putting on his best smile and wave, until he was nearly right in front of me. Then, flanking him, I noticed two people. Sesemann, as always, but then… Frings. That bastard. The three of them talked amongst each other as they walked. My fonic vision regrettably did not allow me to read lips, but I could see that my emperor's face started to fall every time he was not directly engaged with one of them, or smiling at his people. I took some twisted pleasure from this.

But the next moment, I saw him place a hand on Frings' shoulder, laughing at something the latter had probably said. It was all I could do not to reach for and hurl my spear at the new "major." Soon, however, they parted ways, and Peony and Sesemann stepped onto the platform and took their seats. I decided to continue to survey the surroundings, and looked away from him.

When this resolve failed and I let my eyes find him again, I was immediately surprised at the drastic change in Peony's expression. He now looked off in the distance with rage searing across his usually placid face. I followed his eyes. Nordheim, accompanied by the other generals, approached the ship. He walked slowly, taking much time to greet the crowd. _Stalling._ I could tell even from where I was that he was nervous. I wondered if he and Peony had met at all since I'd been relieved.

Slowly, finally, he reached his superior. Peony's expression had relaxed back into placidity, and he greeted the general as normal. But soon I began to pick up on elevated fonic activity from where they were. My eyes sensed it almost immediately after that. Peony held the general's attention as he talked to him in a somewhat serious manner. But right under their noses, his hand spun a fonic arte. I hadn't even been aware that he still practiced or possessed such powers. But a minute strand of molten white energy, undetectable to anyone who was not paying attention, was escaping his index finger tip, and making its steady way toward Nordheim's throat. Helpless to do anything at that moment, I looked back at their faces. The general just listened, now, a cowed expression on his face. Peony continued to stare him straight down, still talking. I saw his tone rising with each word. I looked back at the arte. It was beginning to wrap itself around the man's throat, inches away from touching him. I was sure he'd lost his mind. The spell would surely scald its victim, drawing them very much attention.

At the last instant, Sesemann noticed what was poised to happen. He put a hand out, as fast as an old man could while still remaining subtle, and placed it on Peony's arm.

The arte dissolved into thin air, as they exchanged looks. I saw Sesemann's seriousness subdue Peony into relenting, and turning away to begin the ceremony.

I didn't hear most of the verbal formalities, as I was too busy continuing to look for any sign of danger. I had stowed my glasses, and let my eyes do their work, hoping the people nearest me wouldn't notice anything remarkable.

The first signs came with renewed fonon activity. This time, it was much more powerful and concentrated than the single arte. It came from the ship.

Peony was finishing his last words, taking a bottle of champagne from Sesemann, and walking up to the bow of the ship.

"With this offering, we pray, for _The Tartarus_ and her fleet, many blessed ventures. In the name of the Empire of Malkuth, in war or peace, go safely." And with a graceful blow, he broke the bottle against the pearly hull of the ship. Nearly distracted by the thought of his christening the ship I'd helped to design, I lost my concentration on my surroundings for an instant.

When I regained it, I felt fonic activity not only near the ship—no, from within the ship, mere feet away from where Peony still stood—but also from several points around me. These points were moving. The activity was increasing, too, at an alarming rate. I didn't sense any humans casting artes that might produce this power. There was only one likely possibility.

_Fonon bombs._

I broke out of hiding, knocking people out of the way. Taking it in one leap, I ascended the platform and cast a barrier around all on it as I dashed past them. I ran onward and leapt, throwing myself into Peony and out of the way as the front of the hull exploded into a thousand shards and fonic shrapnel. Once he was safely on the ground, only bruised, I stood and sprinted back out into the crowd. Several individuals wore the same type of artillery strapped to their chests.

"Malkuth ruined the lives on Hod—now we will die to take yours!" I heard from the one nearest me, before he detonated his weapon.

He took several people with him, as did two others who killed themselves before I had a chance to set up a strong enough neutralization around the entire crowd. I was not fast enough—only so to save most of the people, not all of them. My spell managed to cancel out the remaining bombers enough that they alone were killed by their own explosions.

Dazed, Peony and the other officials did their best to direct the soldiers, doctors and citizens. The healers who happened to be on site managed to revive some of the victims and heal the rest who'd survived. The attackers and other dead were quickly taken away, and the rest were sent home. Gradually, as there was nothing else to do, we gathered back near the ship.

"Your Majesty!" Nordheim noticed, "I shall escort you inside at once."

Peony didn't move, instead just looking at him coldly. As I approached them, Nordheim noticed me and began to fidget. I ignored him, walking straight to Peony and putting my arms around him without hesitation. He put his head on my shoulder and clung to my shirt with one hand, between us, where the others couldn't see.

"I…" Nordheim stammered from behind me. "Forgive me."

I pulled away and made to notice him.

"There was no way you could have foreseen this, General. Don't blame yourself."

"Precisely…" he murmured. "I didn't. And it could have cost us the life of the Emperor. And many more of the others. Please forgive me…" he walked up to me, extending a hand. "—Colonel."

I looked at him questioningly.

"This ship, once it's repaired, is yours, if you'll take it."

I considered, for a moment, looking at each of them.

"This actually wasn't my idea," said Peony, a smile growing across his face.

"If you're serious, General, then I accept." I barely hid my own smug grin as I took his outstretched hand.

"It would be an honor to have you back, Colonel Curtiss."

My life went rather more smoothly after that. It was up to the head politicians to publicly manage the backlash of the attack. The military simply tightened security throughout the country and conducted several investigations into the matter. These revealed the rebel informant to have been one of the bombers who had taken his own life.

I soon had the opportunity to take my ship and crew for the first patrol, this time not as a subordinate, but at the helm. _The Tartarus_ soon recognized my handprint alone as its superior control. My soldiers and I quickly learned to operate the vast machine as though it were second nature. In short, the new fontech and I got on very well. Never mind that the most we did on a regular basis was to hunt down bandits and other minor criminals—it was something to do, and it kept me quite occupied enough.

Peony was irritating enough to make note of each time I came home "in a good mood" after "fooling around with my ship."

I probably should have noticed that he was jealous. I did take days at a time away, after all. Perhaps my absence was what prevented me from noticing the continued presence of a certain loathsome major, until one day, when I returned to find him and Peony both in the royal chamber. They were in the front room, accompanied only by the three foraging rappigs. They were merely talking, but naturally my hand readied to seize my spear.

"My Jade, welcome back." Peony simpered.

"Colonel Curtiss!" Frings stood up immediately and nodded respectfully at me. "It is such an honor, Sir. I'd hoped I would get the chance to meet you."

"Oh." I said.

"Aslan was just over to keep me company, since I have no immediate engagements right now, and you aren't here."

"I am here now."

"Oh, why yes. Now you are."

"…'Aslan'?" I sneered.

"Yes sir," said Frings, nodding again. "I—Your Majesty, I beg your pardon, I should take my leave, now."

"Jade. Be nice. Oh and Dear, go on if you must. But come again soon—we can all do lunch, or something." He got up and smiled Frings out the door.

I turned on him, once we were alone.

"What the hell was that! Just what is he to you?"

"Oh, my…" he said, starting to laugh. "He is my new head of local security, during peace-time. We do need someone competent around here when you're gone, after all. And that's all. He's my friend."

"And poised to be my replacement in every other way as well, I'm going to assume," I said.

"Don't be an idiot. He's merely a pet, if anything. And if you're _so_ concerned, my paranoid love, rest assured that he's unlikely to have any interest in me. He loves women almost as much as I do."

"How reassuring," I growled. "And did I not start off as your pet?"

He placed both hands on the sides of my face, looking sincerely at me. "Actually, no. You never were." He kissed me, passionately, then abruptly pulled away, smirking. "But that, love, is an excellent idea."

I thought nothing of this threat, at the time. I had chased him down as he strode away from me, and pinned him down upon the nearest couch.

"So help the both of you if Aslan is ever more than a pet." I began to tug off his shirt.

"I know I shouldn't encourage this, but…you're absolutely enchanting when you're bothered and possessive." He whispered, clawing at the buttons of my uniform.

I shut him up by sealing my mouth against his and pinning his tongue down with mine. Practiced by now, we were able to tear each other's clothes away without breaking apart. I tortured him as long as I could manage, running my hands all over him, and biting his neck just below the ear. He knew how to get to me though—soon he'd finessed his legs around me, and moved against me until I was in misery as well.

A hiss escaping my lips, I drove into him hard. He cried out, but by now I knew the fine line between pleasure and too much pain. I walked it flawlessly, as did my Emperor, when he did manage to get me on my back.

"Jade!" He called out, with shameless volume.

"Quiet," I scolded him. He knew very well and enjoyed that all manner of servants and guards could hear him.

"Oh, Jade, you feel so g—_ah_!"

I silenced him with and set him to whimpering instead. He took his revenge by biting a deep mark in my neck.

Once we were done inflicting our various affections on each other, we settled down into holding each other, lips locked, for the next long while. Perhaps I was slightly ashamed of my reactions, and I sensed that he felt the same, but neither of us felt the need to state this. As was often the case, we were happy just being close, in all senses of the word.

I happily took the mark he'd left on me on patrol, the next day. Few got the chance to see it past my uniform, and none remarked on it. My captain did note that I was in good spirits that day. I snapped at him to get back to work and stop taking time off to notice my demeanor. He barked an apology, poorly disguising a smile.

That day, I had the opportunity to use the fonic torpedoes upon a camp of drug bandits who had set up an unusually powerful barrier. They worked quite powerfully, but with enough control that I could instantly discontinue fire and leave everyone unharmed; only shocked enough to be easily arrested.

I returned home to my emperor in a state the likes of which I knew he'd enjoy poking fun at. Walking down the hall toward his chamber, I could all too easily hear it.

I didn't hear anything as I let myself into his room, however. He was happily seated on his favorite couch, holding one of his animals in his lap and cooing at it.

I cleared my throat, waiting, before realizing that something seemed different. The rappigs had multiplied. He was holding a _fourth_ one.

"Oh, hello, my Jade!" He got up, still holding the thing, and approached me with it.

"Isn't he beautiful? He arrived from Engeve just today!"

He was now all too close, still nuzzling into the rappig's fur, yet showing me an evil smile. "Jade, meet cute little Jade."

TBC... muaha


	8. Harmony

Chapter 8 – Harmony

I endured the presence of both my replacements quite well for a while, I thought. The rappig, fortunately for it, was not responsible for any grief it caused me. Peony was the one who reveled in having one more means of torturing me.

Aslan Frings wasn't so lucky. Though on some level, I knew he couldn't help being subjected to torture at the hands of the emperor as well, he was sentient and I had no sympathy for him.

It was clear to me that he'd quickly become one of the general's new favorites, in my absence. Even after I'd regained rank and face, Frings' duties did not discontinue. On the contrary, just as Peony had threatened, he filled the newly established role of Head of Security in the capital. I shared briefings with him almost every day. Nordheim, whether from a renewed desire to remain in the emperor's good graces, or by his own belief in the boy, treated him increasingly as my equal. Even I was ready to call him a pet, and began to understand what the general had felt when I was first being "pampered and promoted."

As if existing with him professionally wasn't enough, I would return from my duties to find Peony, whether in his rooms, audience hall, or elsewhere, all too often in the company of his new "friend." All too often my lover would force us all to socialize. I usually refused, until after the day he called me "immature" and I had no choice but to meet the challenge. On the next occasion, we found ourselves stuck at lunch on Peony's balcony. He often preferred to take his meals there rather than in the formality of the dining hall.

"What a lovely view," I informed them after we'd sat down and been served drinks. Peony studied me from across the table, anxious to let loose his vindicated smile. Frings took my rare invitation, relieved.

"It certainly is, Your Majesty." He then escaped by taking a drink, and kept his eyes lowered afterwards.

"Why thank you, Jade," said the emperor. Then he turned to Frings. "Aslan, actually, now that we're here, I've been meaning to ask a favor of you."

The both of us became taught with attention at this.

"I'm to attend a summit in Daath next week. Jade and some of my staff will of course be accompanying me."

This was news to me.

"—But I hoped you might find time to come along too, as my personal guard."

"What?" We both asked.

"Jade and his escapades on the battlefield and in the labs are just too famous. In the event that his presence alarms the Order and he's denied entrance, I'll need a backup."

"Of course, Your Majesty," said Frings. "I'd be honored."

"I see." I said after a while.

"What?" Said Peony. "I'd like you to come too. You might just have to wait in an inn or something." He picked up his tea gracefully, and sipped it. "So Jade, I hope you're not too busy next week."

I had already gotten up and began to leave.

"Where are you going?"

I didn't answer.

I stopped only after I had left the palace, the central city, and had reached my home—rather, the Curtiss manor. There were some books that I had borrowed from the palace and hadn't yet had time to finish. I thought that this would be a good time to do so. I hadn't had free time in a while, after all. I was just about to lock the door to my room and start a bath running, when I heard footsteps on the stairs, growing louder very quickly. He was probably taking them by two. I locked the door. He knocked anyway.

"I'm busy."

"Colonel?" It was a different voice—Frings. I was so incredulous that he'd actually sought me—to the extent of showing his face in my house—that I opened the door to just stare out at him.

"Colonel Curtiss. Forgive me—the maid let me in—" He was breathing hard.

"What do you want now?"

"I wanted to apologize."

_So, the little bastard had come to rub it in my face. Amazing._

"Did you, now?"

"Yes. I am sorry—I never intended to ruin your lunch. I shall see to it that you don't have to interact with me again."

"So, you intend to avoid me?"

He looked almost fearful. "Whatever you would like, Sir. I shall find alternate times to…conduct my business at headquarters, and with His Majesty, and—"

I slammed the door closed before I went through with hanging him on the opposite wall with my spear. My breath shook as I tried to release it slowly. I walked to my shelf and picked up a book at random, opening to a page and reading as I walked to the bathroom. I stood, leaning against a cabinet, barely absorbing the words on the page, until it was dark and I remembered I had perhaps wanted to relax in a bath. I ended up going to bed instead, and lying awake for several hours.

I didn't have to return to the palace until a few days later, when I had to meet with Sesemann. I tried to think of any plausible excuse to cancel, since I had no doubt he would berate me for displeasing the emperor. What I found, instead, was a warm greeting, followed by an invitation to take a walk on the grounds outside. I agreed, only because we would be away from the palace.

"I hear they've been giving you both quite a lot of grief over the past few weeks. Unacceptable social relations and whatnot."

"Sir? I…thought it was you who made the initial complaint."

He stopped walking and looked at me, puzzled. "Jade, I know very well that it is in the Malkuth line's best interest to have an heir. His Majesty knows that, too, and I know you do. But I work for His Majesty's best interest."

I suddenly realized that this was probably about me.

"Has he sent you?"

"Don't flatter yourself," he said. "You're free to settle your squabbles among yourselves. I merely wish to remind you that the council and I are separate, and are often of separate schools of thought."

"Is this a blessing or an admonishment?"

"If you'll kindly stop interrupting me." He cleared his throat. "Maybe you're aware that I won't always be here. I shall need someone to fill these shoes. But right now, I am His Majesty's advisor. My aim is the empire's prosperity…and near to my heart is the prosperity of his happiness. I am devoted to both of these. My responsibilities do not wax and wane according to how well we get along. It isn't a question of duty _or_ love. It's both. And whether you're capable of both. _No matter_ the circumstances with each other."

I stared in disbelief.

"So no, my boy, I did not 'make the initial complaint.' I wouldn't dream of trying to hold the waves back from their shore. But I do think that the council, the general, and I have at least one thing in common. We expect ourselves never to fail our emperor or our country."

For the first time, there were a thousand questions I had of him. But I couldn't find the words or nerve to ask any of them.

"Make it work, or cease." He gave me his firmest tone, and continued on walking. "Oh, and you must start learning to trust each other, Jade." He left me, then, in the courtyard, pretending that I had some other business in the middle of the walkway than simply standing there, stunned.

I made it my business to wander towards the palace. I began to place a firm resolve in my mind. A question. The answer would give me my direction, and I would either…

But it began to dissolve, the closer I got to him. By the time I was walking through the hall to his rooms, the only strength inside me was the aching in my chest that had been welling up since I had started walking this direction, letting myself miss him anew.

"What is it—?" He asked as he hastily opened the door himself, then recognized me. His eyes grew as wide and clear as opals—as the one in his hair—and he had seized my shoulder before either of us had thought about it.

"What—are you doing here?"

I could only stammer in response.

"Where have you been?" He closed the door behind us.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"What?"

"An inn? I'm to stay in an inn? Am I merely your consort now? Or, yes, perhaps I always was." Was all that came out of my mouth.

"Oh is that what all this has been about?" His voice began to rise in volume and pitch. "I don't believe it."

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. What are you expecting?"

"I don't know. I don't remember why I came here." I said quietly.

"Well…" he walked away, his steps heavier than I was used to seeing. "Hate to have made you forget your important things." Then he threw over his shoulder, "You still need to come."

"I know," I said, letting myself out of the room.

A second later, and the burning in my chest was back. I went home and did take a bath in hopes of relieving it.

I was admitted into the Daath cathedral without question. Peony and his entire entourage were treated as honored guests, as it turned out. We were each shown to rooms, before the summit, and given a quick tour of the visitor areas. I refrained from these, however, having already been to this cathedral many times. And I let Peony go. With his invaluable bodyguard.

Relations had been somewhat better between all of us on the voyage to the other continent. Perhaps we all knew we were to be in close quarters for some time. Perhaps another few days' time had helped. Whatever the case, I felt little of the reckless emotion that had taken hold of me the previous week. Little of it, that is, until I was drunk that night.

Only the three heads of state had been allowed into the meeting chapel, where they would discuss a reaffirming of the peace treaty. This left the other soldiers and I free to explore the city's charming nightlife. There was but one pub, on the outskirts of town.

"Yes, they let me into the cathedral," I told the bartender, a retired officer. "It's not as though I am gonna perform fomicry in the chapel."

"Heh, yes sir," laughed the man. I wanted to punch him right then. But that was mostly my fifth drink's impulse.

Also, the one I desired to take a blow at much more was walking conveniently through the door, then.

"You!"

Frings' eyes widened. They were light brown and kind. His hair much fairer even than Peony's, he was like an archetype for Malkuth. The perfect soldier, the perfect citizen. The perfect lover.

I thought I saw him make to leave.

"Wait!" I yelled after him. I got up, and he stayed and watched me nervously.

"Colonel, you're quite drunk," he said, rushing to catch me when it seemed as though I would stumble. I steadied myself in time though, as well as seizing and readying my spear. I was vaguely aware of the screams and whispers all around me then. I only saw the man and his loathsome perfect face and his hand outstretched, patronizing me.

"Please, Jade—"

"Don't talk to me, just take out your sword!" I ordered him. "We shall settle this."

"No, Sir."

Several pairs of hands grabbed me from behind and began pulling me away from him. I struggled, but was not coordinated enough. Soon they had me seated once more, this time at a table.

"He's your officer?" Asked the bartender. I dimly saw Frings nod. The bartender motioned grandly for Frings to be his guest, and go deal with me. The latter ordered a drink, took off his gloves, and then slowly made his way to me, as I watched.

I continued only to do that when he sat across from me. I'm sure my gaze matched my disgust at the situation.

"I didn't expect to find you here," he said after a while.

"Oh really? What did you expect?"

"…Not the pub, Sir."

I laughed coldly. "No…no, you may've been right, ordinarily. I only drink on special occasions."

"Well then I must say I'm relieved," said the silver-haired soldier. He thanked the waitress as his drink was brought to him.

"Don't tell me you're worried about me."

He sighed, deeply, which irritated me further. "No, Sir." He wasn't convincing, even when I was drunk.

"Dammit, you insist even on finding me here. Do you intend to steal alcohol from me as well?"

"I don't know what you mean," he said, sounding earnest.

"Be a man! Admit all that you've done."

"Um—everything?" He asked.

"Go on."

"No, Sir."

"Alright," I said, granting him that. "Everything _relevant._"

"Is there something you wish to know?"

"I damn well wish to know something. Rather, I already do. I want t'hear it from you."

He was speechless for a second.

"First, would you tell me something Colonel? Forgive me, it's a very frank question."

"So help me, we are speaking freely here," I said.

"Alright. Why do you seem to hate me?"

"Oh," I said. "What an interesting question. First admit to me that you're sleeping with Peony!"

"What?"

"I want to hear it from you. You're sleeping with him!"

"I'm—what?"

I waited for his own secret to dawn on him. It never did. He was shaking his head, alarmed.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I know about it. How can I not? _How can you expect me not to_? Did you think I wouldn't know? Or did you just enjoy rubbing it in my face?"

"Please, Colonel." He was pleading. "I don't know why you would think such a thing. I swear I wouldn't—"

"Just do me the honor of being honest to my face," I asked.

"Of course, Sir!" His voiced raised as he continued to plead. "I don't know what gave you that idea, but it's absolutely untrue. I would never—never even think of... And…and for you to believe that I would ever jeopardize the country's—and his own safety, and my duties—Colonel, I am so sorry you thought me capable of it."

I studied him. It hit me much too hard, suddenly, that he was telling the truth.

"Oh." I leaned back, pulling off my glasses and rubbing my eyes. "So… he never touched you, then, either?"

He looked shocked. "No! The most we did in his room would be to—to watch the rappigs. Occasionally spar! And I doubt His Majesty would _ever_ take that sort of interest in someone like—and I, well, I simply wouldn't, either."

"I see." I nodded calmly.

He reached across the table to take my hand. "Allow me to apologize again, for grieving you so much in regards to His Majesty's well-being. But may I ask you, why did you not have me arrested, the moment you suspected me at all?"

I took a moment to understand the question.

"I…believed it to be a more personal matter than…than one for which invoking the state was necessary."

"…Personal?" He was confused again.

"Yes, Major. My love life is already much more public than is convenient right now."

"Your love—? What, Sir?"

"You—I—Peony…? You don't know?"

He shook his head, eyebrows raised.

I laughed. "But I thought it was common knowledge!"

"Sir…?" He was quite confused.

"Particularly if you spent so much time with him. What _did_ he talk about, then?"

"Um," he was caught off-guard again. "Well, I gather that he holds you in very high esteem, Sir. He cares about you a great deal."

"He—yes." I felt a strangely happy feeling beginning to fill me once more. "And I love him." And I was still drunk. "I love him, Aslan. That can't have been so hidden… could it have?"

"I…never…knew…!" He spoke mostly to himself, eyes wide, and hand to his forehead. "Jade, you and the emperor?"

I fought to contain a smile.

"I never—oh… I…" he began to laugh. "I'm a terrible head of security."

"Why else would I have been acting so jealous?" I mumbled.

"I…had no idea!" He laughed. "I thought you simply hated me."

"Well, I did, but only because of that."

"Oh, ehm, thanks," he smiled.

He then waved the waitress over to order us both another. He spoke to her softly, I noticed, and with a charming smile that I'd never seen him use before. It made her smile in return and laugh, and again as she brought us back the drinks a few moments later.

"Thank you, Major."

"My pleasure, Sir. I'm certainly glad to have cleared this up."

"Yes." I proposed a toast. "To alliances. And silly mistakes. And Malkuth, and—"

I stopped, distracted by something.

It was coming from behind me—the distraction. I saw nothing, nor heard anything. I felt a presence. Something with its attention fast on us. I whirled around, seeing nothing behind me. I looked further beyond, and saw a figure shoving through the crowd, and back toward the door. I saw the back of a long jacket, a high collar of petals, and silver hair.

_Dist?_


	9. Thorns

Chapter 9 – Thorns

I didn't go after him. I was in no condition to. And there was no reason why I would have wanted to either, particularly if he didn't want to be caught. It was inconvenient enough explaining the sudden distraction to Aslan. I sufficed to say that Daath had been spying on us. Puzzled, he rose from his seat and prepared to investigate.

"Please don't," I said.

"Sir, why not?"

"Just another personal matter."

"I…see." He sat slowly back down.

"From the past. Briefly. Almost." I found I was unable to stop spilling truths to the man.

"Almost?"

"It wasn't… must we go into detail?"

"Oh, not at all. I'm sorry." He looked down, embarrassed.

"It's alright," I said. And a second later, "He was a casualty. My… lack of experience in caring."

Frings was nodding thoughtfully. "It's understandable. No one does these things perfectly the first time."

We continued in this vein for the remainder of the evening. He was strangely easy to talk to, and I wouldn't even have been able to recall later everything we covered. I had soon forgotten about Dist's appearance, and by the time our night was over, he helped to make sure I ended up in my room. I hadn't paid attention to where they'd put Peony. I asked him about it, hesitantly.

"Oh, not too far. I'll show you there." He then caught me as I nearly stumbled.

"Colonel, are you well enough?"

"Do I look like a prepubescent girl to you? I'm fine."

"Very well." He couldn't keep the skepticism away completely.

Without further delay he took me down a hall and past several sets of guards. The uniformity of the cathedral was unnerving. I still knew how to get to Saphir's quarters from the entrance, but these halls could have passed for the same ones.

"Has the emperor returned from the summit?" Frings asked the guards at the last set of doors.

"Yes, Major. Colonel," he nodded to me. "I believe His Majesty has retired to bed, Sir."

"Good," I said, pushing past him.

"Very—well, Sir," said the man. Frings bid me goodnight as I let myself into Peony's room.

He was not asleep. He sat up in bed, reading by lamplight. He seemed less than shocked to find me intruding upon him. He looked up with an unreadable face.

"Hi."

"You're still up," I said.

"As are you." He put the book down. "To what do I owe the honor, Jade?"

"Really, Your Majesty." I was still not thinking or speaking entirely clearly.

"Really, what? What do you want?"

I was speechless, for a time. There was a darkness over his gaze that was unfamiliar. I didn't know how to break through it. Or to draw him out of it.

"You… and Aslan. There was never anything… between you," I stated.

He picked the book back up and promptly lobbed it at me, hard. My instincts remained intact enough that I could easily dodge it. It had come too close, though, and I began to see the hurt in his eyes. They were growing brighter. Then they spilled over with tears. A hand outstretched, I went quickly over to him.

"What—what is it?"

He stared into the space next to my arm after I'd sat down, almost as though he wanted to reach for me. But he still sat motionless. After a long while of silence and me studying him, he spoke.

"I don't suppose you've ever wanted another person's trust? Needed it—just assumed that you had it?"

"I suppose not," I said in my most detached tone.

"Then you don't understand."

"What? Peony…what is it?"

"It's just amazing. The first thing you jump to is that I'm sleeping with him."

"You goaded me into it."

"It didn't take much!" He cried. "I'm sorry. But it always… hurts, when it's lost on you just how much I love you." He stopped, looking down to press his sleeve against his eyes. I reached over and finished the job with my glove, stopping to tilt his face up at me with a finger.

"I see. So that was a test, was it?"

He gave a weak laugh. "I guess so."

"Rather unfair, though, isn't it?" I leaned down and kissed him. "You know how lacking I am in this sort of intelligence."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You should be," I said. "And so am I."

He sighed, with a faint smile. "You'll get there."

It was his turn to pull me down by a strand of hair and peck my nose.

"You're coming along fairly well, and I think that you'll be manageable enough in the foreseeable future."

I narrowed my eyes, not liking the sound of this. "I see I remain your pet project, Your Majesty?"

He grinned.

"But I am not the flower," I said. This only made the smirk grow wider.

"Was that Aslan outside? Did you come here together?"

"…Yes."

"So you've decided to get along?

I didn't answer

"Good. That will be easier on everyone. He really has become my friend. Not to mention, a very decent bodyguard."

I pushed him down roughly, unable to hold back the growl deep in my throat.

"Couldn't resist," he winked. "You're still too charming when you're like this."

I kept him pinned down and began to try to bite his neck. Most of the attempts turned into kisses, though. I gave in, simply wanting to be close to him again. His reserve did not hold out very long, either. Soon he was clutching me to him as I held him as close as I could.

"We really… shouldn't… this is a church," he gasped. I paused briefly to acknowledge him, but otherwise ignored him.

It was enough, however. Enough of a lapse for him to roll out from beneath me, stand up on his knees, and pull us both down again, this time with me beneath him. I protested, and he silenced me by quickly covering my lips with his. A quiet moment passed; we neither parted nor advanced. I felt myself breath again with my whole lungs, shuddering with relief. I hadn't even noticed that I'd been half-dead without him. As if reading my thoughts, he whispered,

"Don't ever leave me again."

"Likewise," I replied. Then all at once I remembered that he'd gained the upper hand much too easily. Before I could begin to struggle, however, he was subduing me with kisses and soft hands down my chest and through my hair. Opal eyes bewitched me until I had no desire to struggle. Through the softness I felt the strength in his sword-trained arms as he held me to him. I dared to give in completely to this vulnerability, letting my eyes close and my arms relax around him. He sensed this and rewarded it with lingering kisses across my cheeks.

His softness lasted until he had me right were he wanted me, drawing cries out of me fit to wake Yulia.

The peace conference done with, we returned to Malkuth. We rode together on each leg of the journey. Peony decided to allow Frings a vacation after his diligent service the last few days, and he was dropped off at his home city. This left the two of us riding back alone in our quarters with nothing occupying us besides each other. Boredom led me to say and promise many things that I later regretted: that I would definitely follow in Sesemann's footsteps. That I would try to learn to trust Peony, whatever that entailed. And that I would give myself a chance to "bond" with the rappigs. After all of this, satisfied, he fell asleep on my shoulder for the remainder of the journey.

I escorted the emperor back to his chamber. With the promise that I would return moments later, I left for my office in headquarters. I merely had to file some things that had accumulated in the few days before the trip as well as during it.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"Saphir, what a nice surprise…?" The emperor startled briefly as he let himself into his bedroom to find the slight, silver-haired man seated inside, seemingly waiting for him.

"Peony, My Dear." He said unsmilingly.

Peony laughed, puzzled. "And to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? I haven't seen you in…months?"

The oracle knight didn't speak, nor did he budge from his chair—from the overstuffed chair that Peony suddenly realized did not belong to the palace.

"What…?" The emperor said again, even more puzzled.

"Like it?" smirked Dist. "It's my brand-new fontech! Graceful, hmm?'"

"Eh, sure…?"

"Come closer, let me show you."

This was an order. Peony stood put, increasingly puzzled. "Okay, Saphir, what is this about?"

"I'll explain later. Come _here!_"

"What the hell?" Peony began to back up towards the door as Dist put his hand on the arm of the chair and the whole thing began to move at the command of his touch. It floated toward Peony, and Dist's glare deepened and remained locked on his face.

Peony's hand shot out toward the door handle to the room behind him. Even faster, however, was the arte that sprung out of Dist's fingers and snatched his wrists as they were in motion. Dist's hands balled into fists as he held the emperor fast. He began to pull him closer.

"Silly way to get my attention—" said Peony between struggles.

"It isn't you I want!" Cried Dist.

"Let's talk, then!" Peony fought harder as he was now only a few feet from his captor.

"Be quiet and come with me!" Dist snapped. He tightened the spell and began to infuse it with something else—something paralyzing.

"Like hell—" Peony freed one of his hands for a second and swung at Dist, catching him across the jaw. This freed him for a second, but only a second. The bonds easily found him again. He was caught, and then quickly stunned.

He couldn't see for some time after he came to. He felt that his hands and ankles were still restrained, and his back was pressed against a cold rock wall. For a few moments he tried asking aloud where they were. The only replies came from distant footsteps echoing around a cavernous space, and occasional beeps and the hum of machinery.

"Saphir!"

"Quiet!" Dist finally answered.

"You were going to explain…?" Peony continued. "Like a civilized person? Like the friend that you are to me? Stop this. You could have gone to much less trouble to get my attention."

"I _told _you, it isn't you I want!"

Finally his eyesight was adjusting, and he saw Dist stop what he was doing and begin to approach him, spectacles gleaming in the dim light given off by the restraints.

"You will, however, provide me with priceless assistance," Dist said, a manic tinge beginning to edge into his voice. "You'll help me to help Jade come to his senses!"

"This is about Jade?"

Dist let out an agonized howl in response to the question.

"Well, what about him? What senses does he need returning to? I don't think he ever really had any."

"That is none of your concern, Your Majesty. You're only here to provide some necessary… motivation."

"Well, honestly, you probably could have left me to do that on my own. I can be fairly motivating when it comes to him."

Peony barely saw the flash of light come flying at him before it slammed into and through his chest. He would have been doubled over, gagging, if the restraints hadn't held him up.

"I didn't say I wanted you to _do _the convincing," continued Dist, his voice shaking. "I don't want you anywhere near him. I don't… I want him back!" He finished with a scream.

Peony looked up and could just make out his friend's face, contorted with pain. "Wait, you and he were…?"

A sob. "Yes. He's mine!"

"I see."

"—Before you ruined it…!"

"Saphir… I'm so sorry."

"How could you be sorry? If you were sorry you'd give him up!"

He didn't respond.

"Well, would you?"

"Never."

"Then you'll die, Peony!"

"And how will that help you?"

"He will decide to resurrect fomicry… and you."

"But then I'll be me."

"No, you won't. Just a replica. It won't be the same—he'll only have me, in the end!"

"Saphir, no. If even you and I can see through this plan of yours, I have the utmost faith that he will, too. He banned the practice for a reason."

"Yes, thanks to your manipulation!"

"And this isn't manipulative?"

"I don't care!" Dist smothered another sob with his hand. "I just can't have you between us any longer. I just…you must go. Goodbye, old friend."

"This won't change his mind, I hope you'll understand. I won't be gone _anywhere_," said Peony, as Dist released another spell. This one floated toward him slowly, almost beautifully, through mid-air. It glowed iridescently green until it met with its target and disappeared into him.

Peony felt the restraints fall away. But already, he couldn't stand. Darkness and pain enveloped him as a poison spell ate through his body. He couldn't be sure of what was happening around him, either, but he thought he heard Dist continue to cry as his voice grew softer and further away.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

I could not have been gone for more than ten minutes.

I could not have gone more than thirty meters from him. The buildings adjoined. Security ran back and forth between them, night and day. Security was particularly diligent in the palace, near where he slept.

I could not imagine how he was gone when I returned. Even I was as unconcerned as any of the staff when he was not in his room. No one had seen or heard anything amiss. I waited—too long—to raise any sort of alarm. I assumed he'd slipped upstairs to one of the other rooms, or the library, or the studies. Finally, finally when I had exhausted my ever-quickening search, I called for backup. The team continued where I'd left off, to no avail. Everything was in place, down to the last rappig. The search expanded to include the entire city. It was kept calm, to avoid any panic, but the urgency and barely-contained fear was palpable.

I had learned to quell these feelings. Perhaps it had always come easily to me. I'd relied on it many times in battle, and I did now more than ever.

Still nothing, another hour later. The force had tripled and was now combing the city and surrounding area thoroughly, while officers worked to hold back every departing ship and cart. Eventually I grew short of breath, after hours of incessant running throughout the city. I found myself now at the border, finally at a standstill. I looked out into the hills that were beginning to glow with dusk.

Even with every soldier in Grand Chokmah involved, we would not be able to search the whole world. It was time to return to the origin and think things over carefully. It was the only thing I had not tried.

This train of thought led me back to the palace at a run. Returning to the last place I'd seen him, I threw open the doors to his chamber.

There, right in the front room, sitting back in one of the stuffed chairs, waiting for me, was not an individual I had expected to see.

"You found me!" Cried Dist. "Just in time, too. I only made it back a moment ago. You're indeed perfect, Jade."

"You?" I could only say. He leered at me. Something about his face was strange, however: I realized he was bleeding from a cut lip. Someone had managed to hit him. I took spear in hand, and began to walk slowly toward him.

"Tell me where the Emperor is."

The crazed smile lost its energy.

"—Or I will kill you in contempt of the Empire." I continued closer to him.

"Ohh don't be like this, Jade!" He whined.

I lunged forward, but his hand had already been poised on a trigger on…the chair? It was, in fact, not one of the palace's chairs. At his command, it flew backwards, escaping me. It burst straight through the doors to the balcony, too quickly to catch. Even as I ran outside after it, it flew up and far beyond my physical reach. He dodged around in the air with such precise control, avoiding each one of my spells, that I could not lock onto him.

"You _love_ him, do you?" Dist sneered, crazed. "Jade, capable of caring about something? Hahahahaha! I don't believe it. I won't."

"You've gone completely insane, Saphir," I said slowly.

"No! Quite the contrary. I have worked to perfect our art! Fomicry is now realized! Wait til you see it."

"Silence. I've outlawed it—"

"Using only seventh fonons, it is perfect! It's the only way to attain stability. We were so close, Jade. And I have realized our dream—"

"Our _foolishness_. Now tell me where Peony is!"

The smile was completely gone from Dist's face now. All that was left was torn grief, twisting into delusion.

"Find him yourself!" With that, his chariot lurched higher into air, and took off into the distance. Soon it was an unrecognizable speck.

He had flown off to the East. This made little sense, and I spent too long considering where he might be leading me.

It took me a sprint to the port to realize where I would find them. I seized the nearest patrol ship, otherwise unpiloted, and sped South, toward Kimlasca. I made no effort to placate the border patrol. Let them follow me. I never saw whether anyone had. They would have had trouble navigating my wake anyway. My lack of maritime training did nothing to prevent the crash landing into the wall next to the cavern. It was dark by then, and I barely had time to see the coast by the time I was right on top of it. I put the ship into full reverse, but the impact crushed in the bow anyway, and threw me against the front window. Not injured enough to notice, I scrambled from deck to rock wall, and down into the mouth of the cave. I yelled for both of them. I was answered only with the reverberations of my own voice and the waves, however. In between these, the cavern was eerily quiet.

Starting to be sure I had been wrong, I ran the last stretch of the dark, rocky path, up to the door to the lab. I knew that the only thing waiting for me outside was a ruined boat. It would do no good to turn back now. And the door to the lab was ajar, anyway. It had never been left like that, in my experience. I began to fear what I might find in that room much more than the failure outside the cavern.

Not noticing I was holding my breath, I pulled the door open. It was dark inside as well, but the hum of the machinery was still very much present. I walked onward slowly, looking around. I didn't think to look down.

Suddenly, at my feet, was my emperor. Laid out on the ground unceremoniously, like a rag doll. I fell to my knees next to him. Before I could think about it, I was gathering him up in my arms. Absolutely limp. There were no cuts or broken bones. But something felt very wrong. Somehow, he was bleeding anyway. Internally, urgently… And there was no pulse.

"So now you see why we must take up fomicry again," said Dist, who'd come up silently behind me. "You have _all the more reason._"

"What have you done?" I said, finally releasing my breath.

"I'm only helping you return to your senses," he said matter-of-factly, beginning to smile as he spoke.

"No."

"Plus, why should _he _get you? This was simply a winning situation for me. I had just completed the perfect fomicry machine. And then who comes along to Daath, the very next evening, crowing about his _love_—?" He spat.

The ice that had frozen my veins over in the last moments suddenly melted, as my realization of the situation lit a blaze in me that burned out from my very eyes. I was on my feet again, and walking quickly toward him.

"_You!"_ I shouted. "You can never bring back the dead! You will never replace him! And you will never have me!"

Fear in the place of his triumph, he began to run. "You don't get it—I've made replication perfect! You can have whatever you want. Jade, no!" He stopped and looked back long enough to see me becoming enveloped by a power of white energy that burst from every ounce of pain, loathing, and fear in me.

"Die!" I heard myself yell. And the spell I unleashed then slammed into him uncontrollably, engulfing him and knocking him high into the air. The howl of explosions within the cavern lasted long after he had disappeared into the deep, black crevasse beneath us. I looked down to see sparks still emanating from my fingertips.

The next few moments were free of any emotion. Had they not been, I probably would not have been able to run back into the room, or to take my love's body in my arms again. Or to let silent tears run down my face. I checked several more times for any heartbeat. All was still and silent, but he was still warm. I pressed myself against this warmth, and was hit with the entire pain then.

I begged him to open his eyes. "Peony… you can't. Just…"

_Just what? He can't hear you or help you. This is weakness. But it will be alright. You'll leave here and return to your job as though nothing happened. Nothing has happened for the last year._

"No!" I rejected the rationale that had made my existence possible for all of my life. I remained there, wanting to feel everything. Clutching him closer to me, and begging him to return. The pain itself was like power. It was more potent than any spell I had ever felt.

"Open your eyes!"

Nothing awoke except my further desperation. And something—embodiment of emotion, most likely, began to tear through me. _So this was why I preferred not to feel._ It hurt. The feeling only grew. It was like something I had to set free. I placed one hand on his chest and concentrated all my power into it. I knew not what this would accomplish, but it felt like the only thing left to do.

"Arise!"

The power was freed, and it rushed through me and from me into him. The pain and intensity forced me to stop after only an instant, as something very different and wrong pervaded my fon slots. It left me gasping and blinded. As I slipped quickly out of consciousness, I noticed that I still held him. And beneath my hand—the one that held his head—there awakened a heartbeat.

We were both still unconscious as we were taken from the cavern. Aslan told us later that he'd had to pry us away from each other first, our unaware limbs like vices. He'd followed my trail of destruction to find us here after Peony's disappearance had been reported to him. He'd mentioned that the cavern was still smoldering from some immense power that had swept through it many hours earlier, and that what remained of Saphir was not even discovered by the team that came through later.

He told me all of this as I woke up in one of the guest rooms of the palace in Grand Chokmah, on an afternoon several days later. He had assumed I would want to be there in the palace. He spoke to me as though reporting officially, and I knew he was distracting me from getting up as soon as I realized I was conscious. I called him out on this.

"Actually, I feel fine. How is he?"

He smiled. "He'll make a full recovery."

I lay back down, having unintentionally propped myself on the backs of my elbows. These stung, now, and I looked down to see that both my arms were wrapped in gauze.

"They were…burned. The doctors couldn't quite place the source."

I nodded, puzzled.

"Could it have been from whatever you cast inside the cavern?"

Then the memories came rushing back. "No," I said, beginning to laugh. "It wasn't that."

I peeled away an edge of the gauze. Sure enough, the skin beneath was blackened, and not only from being burned.

"Sir?"

"It's a type of molecular contamination. From incorrect use of the seventh fonon."

I was still laughing, and he looked very worried. "And it nearly killed you?"

"It seems to have altered my cellular structure. Any more exposure and I would mostly likely have been thoroughly mutated ."

"Will you recover?" Asked Aslan.

"I think I was lucky, this time. Both he and I were very lucky… but I won't let that encourage any more experimentation on my part. Let's put the topic to rest here."

"Yes Sir… but if you don't mind my asking… Dist… was that about you? About before?"

"…Yes," I replied.

"I see," he nodded. "Don't worry, I shall protect his memory." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps this was the work of Kimlascan insurgents, bent on starting a war. Obviously unconnected to any government."

I looked at him and nodded.

I'd distracted him long enough that I managed to get both legs out from under the covers and on the ground before he could stop me. By then it was too late, and I was up and walking away.

"You really shouldn't…" he said with a smile.

I looked back. "Thank you."

He slept peacefully in his chamber, as though nothing had ever been wrong. As though he had never been as good as dead. As though I had never rent our childhood friendships into something that put him in the middle so terribly.

Trying not to wake him, I climbed in next to him, not touching him. I had a suspicion that he had not woken, this whole time. Under placid, flawless skin, there lay deep bruises that took studying to notice. I leaned over and kissed the one on his temple, impulsively. As I moved back to my side, I saw his eyelids flutter open.

"No. Sleep," I instructed.

"Mhm," he mumbled, reaching an arm around me and shoving in between my neck and shoulder, where he rested against me.

Worry overcame me, and I couldn't keep quiet for very long. "How are you?"

"Hmm?" Bright blue eyes met mine, confused at first. Then he smiled. "Perfect. You're here, finally."

"Ah," I said.

His smile flickered as he studied me. "How are you?"

"Alright, why?"

"You don't have to lie," he said, placing a kiss on my neck.

"Why would I be lying?"

"Saphir…" he said. "I feel responsible, as well."

"But he meant to kill you," I said numbly.

"And you broke his heart."

I choked, mute.

"Yes, he told me all about it," he smiled. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you—?"

"I know there is a heart in there, somewhere, that feels responsible for his death right now." He placed a hand on my chest. "It will inevitably hurt you."

I was quiet, letting myself notice the ache in me that was different from anything else I'd felt before. I looked back into Peony's eyes, and confirmed his words with the pain in my own gaze.

"But I will be here to help you." He took my head in his hand to pull it toward him, and kissed me gently, several times, until we both knew that I believed him completely.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Thanks so much for reading! Perhaps there'll be an epilogue...


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue ~

(Here's one more short thing. Thanks so much for sticking through this story that became muuuuuch longer than I'd planned! Also thanks to Sarah for her very sweet review! I very much needed reminding/motivating to post this here epilogue. May this monster accumulate moooore feedback, critiques, hatenotes, whatever—I'll take it. :)

It wasn't until many years later that I learned I had not killed Saphir. He traipsed into my life again, however, acting as though nothing beyond our ordinary antagonism had happened. The man was and remains a stubborn cockroach, and, unfortunately, my loyal admirer. After countless more ordeals between him and Luke and the others and I, I had finally lost all sympathy for him. Peony, of course, found his continued devotion increasingly humorous.

Of late, he was finally being held captive in the imperial prison. Knowing him all too well, however, I wasn't sure how long that would last. Nephry, happily married now, and governor of our hometown, pleaded with me to release him into her custody, where she would "find a nice job for him." I wished it were possible.

I wished for many things. That Aslan had not been killed in the attack of Van Grants' replicas. That fomicry had never ruined so many lives. I couldn't bring myself to abandon the idea altogether, though. Perhaps it could do some good yet. It had given me one last chance to see her, after all. I could still sense Nebilim's original through the crazed evil that had taken over her replica. We had inadvertently released her from the confinement in the mountains, with the help of Saphir. (Hence his imprisonment.) Even the imperfect copy daunted us with power the likes of which we'd never seen before. But as seduced—yes, I'll admit it—as I was by it, her power was hollow. We killed her. I dealt the final blow.

It wasn't until after we had overturned the score and supposedly saved the world, that I would recount much of my past life to anyone. I couldn't deny that I'd grown close to the people I'd eventually consider my friends over the course of this process. After Luke's return from wherever he'd been for two years—fonons interspersed with Lorelei's throughout the atmosphere, most likely, he soon began where he'd left off with me. Inquiring, out of both friendly concern and nosiness. Abusing the role he'd so boldly endowed me with: his "mentor." And attempting to make peace with Peony, and how nervous Peony had always made him.

It was probably all of this that gave him the courage to finally ask how the emperor and I had "…. you know…?"

I told him everything, and did not regret it. Watching him fidget with discomfort as I held nothing back more than made up for the effort. But when I was finally finished, he thanked me, and did not run off as soon as he was free to.

"So…you always knew that there was one person who was perfect for you?" He asked after a long silence.

"Of course not," I said. "Or else I would not have made so many mistakes. Would not have hurt as many people."

"Mistakes?" he thought. "But… isn't that how we grow? Mistakes…it hurts to realize you've made them. But now I… I mean, afterward, you know better. Know that you never want to hurt that person—or those people—again…or anything like that."

"Luke, how very deep of you," I noted.

"Not really. I still just think about it, sometimes… and besides, I think Dist brings it on himself," he said.

"Oh? You know I wasn't only referring to him. When it comes to him, I have no sympathy—"

"Sure you do," he said. "Otherwise you'd just be heartless."

"Luke, we've been through this. Of course I am heartless."

"Oh, right. And old."

"I certainly am proud that you've finally taken to sarcasm," I grinned.

"I—?" he looked flustered, but then regained his smirk. "Proud?"

"Did I say that? Oh dear, I am getting old."

"Shut up."

Two years after we'd saved the world, and Gailardia Galan, the Malkuth court's long-lost count, and possibly Peony's closest living relative, had taken his place in the capital after a long-term disappearance to Kimlasca. At Peony's encouragement, and contrary to mine, Luke now practically lived at Guy's manor. I couldn't see how continued dependence on his life-long friend would benefit Luke in his quest for self-reliance, but I was vastly out-voted. Peony seemed to have more confidence in them.

Keeping Guy as his newest pet was not a new development for Peony. But lately he'd begun to jest that he would adopt the boy and name him his heir. I only began to worry when he actually brought this up to Guy.

Luke was also present in the imperial chamber that day, and laughed a little too loudly, masking the nerves that he still couldn't quite shake around emperor.

"Ha, yeah right… heh," he trailed off. Guy sat next to him, pale except for a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"But…" he could only eek out.

"Luke, don't you think it's a good idea?" Said Peony. "That way, you could also fulfill a vital role as emissary between our countries, hmm?"

"Um—"

"Now now, Your Majesty," I interrupted. "No torturing the guests."

"Who's a guest?" He laughed. "You're both family. Isn't that right, sweet little Luke?"

The newest rappig looked up at its master fondly. Luke the boy swallowed nervously.

The next thing we all knew, when we had stopped watching Luke watch the rappig, Guy had gotten to his feet and walked over to Peony, to put his arms around him. The latter glowed with happiness and placed a kiss on the boy's forehead. Luke gawked, but I could only smile as well.

"If it's what you want, Your Majesty," Guy said, "then I'm honored. But I'll need some time to think… and to talk it over," he shot a loving glance at Luke. Still blushing, Luke smiled back.

"Of course," smiled the emperor.

Another few weeks later, after nearly eleven years, and Peony was still able to shock me more than could anything else in the world.

"Marry me, Jade." He held out in front of me a case holding a smooth, green stone, and next to it, a silver band.

"What's that." I asked, not hearing the question.

"This one will go on your finger," he pointed to the ring. "And this will go into your crown. Though I may have been too obvious in my choice of stones. Still might go with a ruby..."

"What?"

He took me around the waist, and looked into my eyes from close proximity. "_Please_ marry me."

"You're insane. The council will never allow it. And the Order would rather assassinate you than recognize it."

"What Order? And I thought we'd decided that the council has no business in my personal life. I've given them an heir, after all."

"You're insane…"

He smiled and held me tighter. "Is that not why we work so well?"


End file.
